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MONDAY, February 27, 2012

A vending machine outside the student union at Shippensburg College contains female morning-after tablets.  The most popular brand is “Good Morning, Eve” from Johnson & Johnson, advertised with the slogan “Why take a chance on something that’s probably been in his wallet for a year and a half?”

Pleading diplomatic immunity, Prince Albert of Monaco will avoid facing charges that arose from a brawl at a popular Manhattan pub.  According to police, the prince took offense when another guy at the bar accused his mom of living with Jimmy Stewart in “Rear Window” without benefit of clergy.

Kim Kardashian has been advised by her accountants that her 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries was disastrous for her various businesses.  She’s not alone.  Her quickie marriage adversely effected wedding-related businesses nationwide.  The only sales that showed gains were wash-and-wear wedding gowns.

A convict on San Quentin’s Death Row protesting prison food, beat his executioner by dying of malnutrition.  You have to admire his seriousness about making his point.  For his last meal, he ordered roast nothing on a bed of fried nothing, a side of mixed nothing, washed down by a vintage bottle of nothing.  No dessert. 

The Boy Scouts of America turn 100 years old this year.  Things have sure changed since I was a Scout.  Used to be you had to demonstrate woodsmanship and outdoor survival methods.  Nowadays, a Scout can earn a merit badge for memorizing all the apps available for his I-Phone.
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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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