TUESDAY, February 28, 2012

Memorable night at the Academy Awards.  Biggest surprise was the Oscar for Best Supporting Animal.  When the winner was announced, Sasha Baron Cohen’s Doberman in “Hugo” got so excited, he ate two other nominees -- the Charles Russell terrier in “The Artist” and Charlize Theron’s Pomeranian in “Young Adult.”

Currently undergoing rigorous background vetting to insure there are no surprises, hoop sensation Jeremy Lin is poised to sign the most lucrative endorsement deals in the history of professional sports.  And he’s been told that he’d be even more marketable if he’d marry Adele.

A high school in Cincinnati, Ohio promises to issue a Visa card with a $25 credit for perfect attendance and good deportment.  Kids who can stick to Michelle Obama’s child dietary guidelines get a Diners Club card.

The Food and Drug Administration has indicated that it will approve marijuana in an aerosol spray for pain relief.  According to his friends, Willie Nelson is ecstatic.  He plans to use it on his tour bus as an air freshener.

Once headed for NBA hoop legend status, former scoring champ Alan Iverson squandered $200 million in salary and endorsement deals, is broke and owes an Atlanta jeweler $860,000.  We thought Kobe’s wife was unforgiving -- Alan’s must be absolutely impossible.
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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.