WEDNESDAY, December 28, 2011

If you thought the Tiger Woods divorce was a professional athlete's worst nightmare, prepare for the Kobe Bryant prenup-a-thon.  With the cars, the houses and the country club memberships already on Vanessa's score card, Kobe's attorneys have advised him to get too attached to his tattoos.

The once proud and indomitable Chicago Bears were eliminated from the playoffs at the hands of the Green Bay Packers, 35-21.  For some brighter numbers, former Bear wide receiver Sam Hurd may have his federal drug dealing penalties reduced from life to 75 years.

Anxious to preserve their dwindling core of loyal customers, America's major retail chains now have the most forgiving return policies in history.  For example in one store, a shoplifter gets his choice of a new item or one returned by another shoplifter and refurbished.

Los Angeles School District Police are investigating a rash of burglaries in which only tubas were taken from high school music department storage lockers.  The cops set up a giant sting operation focusing on German beer parlors and Bowl games.

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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.