MONDAY, December 26, 2011

Carnival Cruise Lines is taking reservations for its April "Tides of Torture" cruise of the Caribbean that will feature all of the hit slasher movies of the past two decades.  It will be the maiden voyage of their new 3,000-passenger luxury cruise liner the SS Freddie Krueger.

When Customs officials in Mexico City noticed a "tourist" who matched a photo on an international watch list, they refused to allow Moammar Kadaffi's son to enter the country.  Just as well.  If he thinks the Lybian people sought their revenge on dad, wait until he gets a taste of Montezuma's.

Researchers in Israel have developed a molecular "car" that can be inserted into the body to diagnose illness.  Some problems while testing it, though.  A  doctor driving it through a patient's colon was texting and accidentally veered off into the patient's spleen.

Whoopie Goldberg is denying rumors that she passed wind while in the midst of interviewing a guest on "The View."  In Whoopie's defense, the National Weather Service denied that their instruments detected any more wind coming from the studio than usual.

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!


DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.