Swiss authorities rejected a request from L.A.’s District Attorney to extradite Roman Polanski to face child sex abuse charges in California. The Swiss provide body guards for the pope who reportedly told them “Hey, it’s not like he committed a crime or anything…”
A World Court judge ordered supermodel Naomi Campbell to testify in the war crimes trial of former Liberian President Charles Taylor. Her attorney informed the court that his client had no objection to appearing as long as she could be sworn in on a copy of Women’s Wear Daily.
“Despicable Me” opened strongly over the weekend, outperforming “Toy Story 3” and “Knight and Day.” It had an advantage, though -- most ticket-buyers thought it was the life story of PB’s CEO, Tony Hayward.
Health authorities in Scotland report that 97% of the population are guilty of either chain-smoking, and/or habitual drunkenness, and/or lack of exercise -- and, if you count Mel Gibson, “rampant racism.”
Doctors at George Washington University Hospital are experimenting with a text messaging system designed to communicate health care directives to their younger patients. So far, the most effective advice seems to be “tke 2 asprnz n cl me n th mrn.”
Excerpted from THE LAUGH MAKERS
Like the comedy relief pitchers we were trained to be, Gene and I sprung into action. While Air Force One winged toward Pope, we’d bang out a page of dialogue for the two old veterans of the silver screen. After Hope okayed it, we’d call Reagan back so his secretary could type it up for him to memorize.
While Gene and I tapped away, the Secret Service was conferring with Lipton and co-producer Elliott Kozak. Reagan’s Boeing 707 would land and taxi directly to the stage. Within an hour, scores of agents descended on the area like a swarm of armed locusts in dark suits. Some of the same German shepherds that had “sanitized” Grand Rapids six years earlier sniffed their way through our production equipment.
Metal detectors suddenly sprouted up everywhere to ensure that there would be no gate crashers. We were all instructed that once the president’s plane touched down, we weren’t to wander from our assigned areas under threat of sudden death by Uzi.
Here’s how it all works. On any major flight, Air Force One is accompanied by an identical “decoy” plane carrying several hundred uniformed and plainclothes agents. Additionally, an unmarked C-130 troop carrier containing the bullet-proof presidential limo and specially armed escort vehicles complete the flotilla.
As soon as the decision to detour to Pope had been made, these escort planes flew ahead to complete the last minute security arrangements which (in this case) must have been nerve wracking. Reagan had already been the target of a would-be assassin, and they weren’t looking for a sequel.
As expected, the audience, having no inkling of the unscheduled stopover, literally erupted when the Gipper strode down that boarding ramp. He greeted Hope warmly, and the two old troupers did their one minute exchange. Total elapsed time from touchdown to departure was exactly thirty minutes as promised. Exciting stuff, to be sure, all made possible because Hope could dial a president’s number and know there would be one at the other end.
Tomorrow: Hope the Pack Rat
Order THE LAUGH MAKERS on line:
http://www.amazon.com/LAUGH-MAKERS-Behind-Scenes-Incredible/product-reviews/1593933231/ref=cm_cr_pr_link_2?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&pageNumber=2
Also available in an unabridged audio version read by the author: http://www.audible.com/adbl/site/products/ProductDetail.jsp?BV_SessionID=@@@@0545479184.1272211432@@@@&BV_EngineID=cccjadekfdmleefcefecekjdffidfmf.0&productID=BK_BEAR_000001
FREE OFFER Would you like to write a short review of THE LAUGH MAKERS to be posted on Amazon.com? If so, you will be provided a FREE AUDIO VERSION of the book, unabridged and read by the author with musical bridges by Barry Dugan. Write to:
TheLaughmakers@GMail.com and write “Review Copy” in the subject line. You will be sent an address to access the book on MP3 or .wav files that may be downloaded to your I-Pod or computer. No time limit applies -- you may post your review at any time following completion of the book.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!
No comments:
Post a Comment