WEDNESDAY, June 28, 2010

To increase awareness of ocean contamination, a 60-foot catamaran made of 12,500 plastic bottles sailed from San Francisco to Sydney, Australia.  It was immediately purchased by BP, rechristened the “Gulf Polluter,” and given to Tony Hayward as a retirement gift.

Oceanographers and seismologists using cutting-edge laser  cameras will attempt to photograph the entire coast of California.  Rumors are that they were hired by several pharmaceutical companies hoping to recycle the medical waste they’ve dumped there over the years.

A convent of Benedictine nuns has been signed by Lady Gaga’s label, Decca Records, to produce an album of Gregorian Chants.  The company is denying rumors that they plan to promote the singing nuns using their Mother Superior’s new stage name, Lady God God.  

A chariot once used by Egypt’s King Tutankhamen was flown from Cairo to New York where it will be put on display with 130 objects from his tomb.  The chariot was scheduled to arrive in New York last spring but was caught in Toyota‘s faulty brake recall. 

Responding to a 27% obesity rate, a British department store chain  has launched “plus sizes” for students returning to school, offering pre-school waistlines up to 23 inches.  The full figure uniforms come in three models -- the “Winona,” the “Oprah” and the “Kirstie.”