Drip Dried

[] A veteran C.I.A. analyst nearing retirement was fired for leaking sensitive information to the press. (Cable News Network 4/23)

Mary McCarthy's mistake wasn't releasing the info, but failing to give Bob Novak first dibs on it.

[] The marble head of Dionysus, dating from the first century AD and stolen from Mussolini's villa near Rome , was returned to Italian authorities by New York police. (New York Times 4/22)

In a goodwill gesture, Italy returned the head of Mario Lanza.

[] New N.B.A. rule will give teams two free throws and a turnover for a clear path foul. (USA Today 4/21)

And an extra free throw if the offending player's tattoos clash with the victim's.

[] The Latino music distributor Urban Box Office will release "Nuestra Himno," a Spanish version of the National Anthem. (Associated Press 4/23)

Which begins "Jose, can you see... "

[] Rumors surfacing on the internet that Tom Cruise planned to eat his new baby's placenta proved to be false. (Los Angeles Times 4/23)

But there is some truth to the rumor he plans to choke the bad guys in "Mission Impossible IV" with the umbilical cord.

[] Hasbro will market a modernized version of "Monopoly" with non-Atlantic City Streets, more currency and airports instead of railroads. (USA Today 4/23)

The familiar "Mr. Monopoly" will be replaced by Kenneth Lay.

[] Gurinder Chadra will direct John Travolta and Jennifer Lopez in a big-screen version of "Dallas." (Associated Press 4/22)

Jay Lo is not only in the film, they're modeling Southfork after her South Forty.

[] Former president Gerald Ford angrily accused the generals who are calling for Rumsfeld's ouster of "sending the wrong message." (Associated Press 4/22)

Then out of habit, he pardoned Bush for his war crimes.

[] After meetings with Bush, Chinese president Hu Jinto concluded his four-day visit to Washington. (Associated Press 4/20)

Bush reiterated the U.S. position on Iranian nukes, discussed the threat from North Korea, and then tried to explain why CBS chose Katie Couric over Connie Chung.