Dr. Digit's Daily News & Old Hollywood Memory Blog: China Bans Stones Tunes

China Bans Stones Tunes

THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC CUT FOUR SONGS SCHEDULED TO BE PERFORMED BY THE ROLLING STONES IN SHANGHAI. (Associated Press 4/8)

"Brown Sugar"... "Let's Spend the Night Together"... "Rough Justice"... and "How Can I Say I Love You When You Keep Quoting Chairman Mao?"

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PARIS HILTON'S FIRST CD WILL DEBUT THIS SUMMER WITH LYRICS LIKE "EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND, BOYS ARE FIGHTIN' OVER ME ---- MAYBE 'CUZ I'M HOT TO DEATH AND SO, SO SEX-EE." (Los Angeles Times 4/9)

Look for it on the Pia Zadora label.

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EVIDENCE SHOWS THAT BIRDS LEARNED TO FLY FROM THE GROUND UP RATHER THAN FROM THE TREES DOWN. (Smithsonian Magazine 2/06)

Chickens tried it both ways and decided to stick to the egg business.

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POPE BENEDICT XVI HAS DROPPED "PATRIARCH OF THE WEST" FROM HIS OFFICIAL TITLE, BUT RETAINS "SUCCESSOR OF PETER," "PRINCE OF APOSTLES" AND "BISHOP OF ROME." (USA Today 4/9)

His most recent appellation "Protector of Pedophiles" wasn't mentioned.

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A U.S. AIRWAYS PILOT WAS DETAINED AT LAX ON SUSPICION OF D.U.I. BUT WAS RELEASED AFTER HE PASSED SOBRIETY TESTS. (Los Angeles Daily News 4/8)

Air controllers became suspicious when they noticed he was flying on a cold night with his window down.

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TWO NEW YORK CITY COPS HAVE BEEN CONVICTED OF MOONLIGHTING AS HIT MEN FOR THE LUCHESE CRIME FAMILY. (USA Today 4/7)

Their mistake was hiring John Gotti's tailor.

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MARTHA STEWART WILL OFFER HIGH-END HOME DECOR PRODUCTS FROM HER "MARTHA STEWART COLLECTION" IN SELECTED K-MART STORES. (USA Today 4/7)

She'll soon follow up with gourmet grocery products sold under her new label, "Inside Trader Joes."

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JUDAS GOSPEL FOUND IN EGYPT IN 1978 AND NOW ON DISPLAY AT THE NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC MUSEUM CLAIMS THAT JUDAS RECEIVED "SECRET KNOWLEDGE" FROM JESUS TO TURN HIM IN. (USA Today 4/7)

Most convincing evidence in the manuscript? Indications that Jesus had started referring to Judas as "Scooter."

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SENATE FAILS TO REACH A DEAL ON A SWEEPING IMMIGRATION BILL. (USA Today 4/7)

Maybe a little too sweeping. It promised to give Paul Rodriguez a sitcom.

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FOUR NEW JERSEY STUDENTS STAND CHARGED UNDER A POST 9-11 STATE "TERRORISM" LAW WITH PLANNING TO MASSACRE 25 STUDENTS AND TEACHERS AT WINSLOW TOWNSHIP HIGH. (USA Today 4/7)

By crashing their skateboards into the campanile.

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THE F.D.A. HAS APPROVED A SKIN PATCH TO TREAT ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER IN CHILDREN. (USA Today 4/7)

Field tests lasted five years----three just to get the patches stuck on the kids.

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NASCAR IS MARKETING LOGOED PRODUCTS FOR WOMEN INCLUDING JACKETS, SHOES, HANDBAGS AND BIKINIS. (USA Today 4/7)

And soon a specially designed NASCAR fragrance: "Essence of Pits."

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STEVEN SPEILBERG AND MARK BURNETT WILL TEAM UP TO PRODUCE "ON THE LOT" IN WHICH 16 WOULD-BE FILMMAKERS VIE FOR A DEVELOPMENT DEAL AT DREAMWORKS. (USA Today 4/7)

Last place finisher will get a development deal at Disney.

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LOS ANGELES GANG MEMBER SHOOTS FELLOW-GANG MEMBER BY MISTAKE. (Los Angeles Times 4/7)

He'll be prosecuted under California's new "Cheney Law."

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MASSACHUSETTS BECOMES THE FIRST STATE TO ADOPT A UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE SYSTEM. (CBS News 4/5)

Well, almost universal. It covers everything but Teddy Kennedy's liver.

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DUKE'S LACROSSE COACH RESIGNS IN WAKE OF EXOTIC DANCERS' RAPE ALLEGATIONS WHILE UNIVERSITY'S PRESIDENT CANCELS REMAINDER OF THE SEASON. (Cable News Network 4/5)

May be a coincidence, but there are reports that Kobe Bryant has taken up lacrosse.

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KATIE COURIC FORMALLY ANNOUNCES THAT SHE'S LEAVING THE "TODAY SHOW" TO ANCHOR THE "CBS EVENING NEWS." (Cable News Network 4/5)

That rumble you hear is Edward R. Morrow shifting positions.

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A SIXTH CENTURY INDIAN PYRAMID HAS BEEN DISCOVERED IN MEXICO CITY BUT ONLY HALF WILL BE EXCAVATED SINCE THE OTHER HALF HAS MODERN BUILDINGS ON IT. (USA Today 4/6)

Dominated by the "Pueblo of the Vestal Virgins Hilton."

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CHENEY IS SCHEDULED TO THROW OUT THE FIRST BALL AT THE WASHINGTON NATIONAL'S OPENER AGAINST THE METS. (USA Today 4/6)

Fans in the first fifteen rows will be issued complementary team logo-imprinted flack jackets.

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A SCIENTIST AT SOUTH AFRICA'S WITWATERSTRAND UNIVERSITY HAS FOUND SOLID EVIDENCE THAT BIRDS HUNTED AND KILLED EARLY HUMANS. (Smithsonian Magazine 4/06)

The evidence includes beak-torn skull fragments, imbedded talons and several Alfred Hitchcock films.

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AN ARTICLE IN JOURNAL PALEOLIMNOLOGY CLAIMS THAT JESUS MAY HAVE WALKED ON WATER IN THE SEA OF GALILEE FROZEN BY A SUDDEN DROP IN TEMPERATURE. (Los Angeles Times 4/6)

Biblical scholars vehemently challenge the findings, pointing out that ice was not intelligently designed until much later.

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THE JOURNAL NATURE REPORTS THAT DENTAL DRILLING DATES BACK TO 5500 B.C. PERFORMED WITH FLINT DRILL HEADS AND A SMALL BOW. (USA Today 4/6)

Fossils found in a Pakistan graveyard include repaired molars, flint chips and a stone sign with a crudely-carved inscription: "Painless Og."

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PRISON OFFICIALS IN TENNESSEE BANNED PEANUT BUTTER AFTER DISCOVERING THE JARS WERE BEING USED TO STORE DRUGS. (Time Magazine 4/10)

Alert guards got wise when they noticed a line of cocaine stuck to the roof of an inmate's nose.

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"REAL HEROES" IS A LINE OF ARMY-AUTHORIZED 6-INCH TOY SOLDIERS MODELED AFTER FOUR REAL G.I.'S WHO HAVE WON BRONZE OR SILVER STARS IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN. (Time Magazine 4/10)

They come with optional prosthetic limbs in case the kids' war games get a little too realistic.

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RON KESSLER, AUTHOR OF "LAURA BUSH: AN INTIMATE PORTRAIT," CLAIMS THAT SHE WAS "APPALLED" AT HOW HILLARY CLINTON HAD DECORATED THE LIVING QUARTERS. (Fox News 4/4)

Luckily, quick-thinking aides didn't let her see what Monica had done to the Oval Office.

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BRIAN DOYLE, PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICER FOR THE HOMELAND SECURITY DEPARTMENT, WAS ARRESTED AND CHARGED WITH USING A COMPUTER IN AN ATTEMPT TO SEDUCE A CHILD. (Cable News Network 4/4)

Bush called him up and said, "Good job, Doylie!"

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MISSISSIPPI, ALABAMA,TENNESSEE, GEORGIA AND SOUTH CAROLINA ARE CRACKING DOWN ON "HOG-DOG RODEOS," IN WHICH PIT BULLS ARE UNLEASHED ON WILD HOGS. (USA Today 4/5)

And just when polo was beginning to catch on in Sleepy Holler.

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WISCONSIN VOTERS WENT TO THE POLLS TO DECIDE WHETHER THE U.S. SHOULD KEEP TROOPS IN IRAQ. (USA Today 4/4)

The Pentagon is so furious, they're threatening a cheese boycott.

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A STOCKHOLM UNIVERSITY STUDY SHOWS THAT SWEDEN COOPERATED WITH THE NAZIS BY BANNING MARRIAGE BETWEEN "ARYAN GERMANS" AND SWEDISH JEWS. (USA Today 4/5)

And they weren't too pleased with Ingrid Bergman, either.

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NINETY-FIVE PERCENT OF DELTA PILOTS VOTED TO AUTHORIZE A STRIKE. (USA Today 4/5)

The other 5% favors one too, but they were stacked up over Chicago.

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BASEBALL PITCHER DWIGHT GOODEN FACES 5 YEARS IN PRISON FOR COCAINE USE WHILE ON PROBATION... AND WASHINGTON REDSKIN SEAN TAYLOR FACES UP TO 45 YEARS ON AGGRIVATED ASSAULT CHARGES. (USA Today 4/5)

They probably won't share the same cell, though. Prison officials have found that housing pro baseball and football players in the same unit promotes gang tension.

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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HEAD BLOGMEISTER

Welcome to our humble blog. I'm your genial host and obedient servant, Bob Mills, Googling here since 2004 when this site was called "Bereft-on-the-Left" which succeeded "Funny Side Up," launched in 1994. Lots of features have been added over the years, so if you're a newcomer, be sure to check out the satirical essays and sketches as well as our unique Hollywood photo galleries. Take your time, visit often and if you enjoy the site, please tell your friends. Any questions or comments can be directed to TheLaughMakers@gmail.com. Enjoy!

SAME TIME, SAME STATION

THE "NEW" BOB HOPE SPECIALS

In 1974, Hope signed a new contract with his sponsor Texaco that required him to produce his specials differently than they had been done for decades. Hope was asked to engage a separate, independent producer for each special -- producers who would be uniquely qualified to deliver programs which would be just that -- "special." In addition, Texaco encouraged Hope to begin taking his show on the road -- to tape them in foreign countries. These changes would improve the quality of the Bob Hope Show for the remainder of his career on television and insure that from then on, his reviews would be better and his Neilsen ratings uniformly higher than ever before.

In 1979, Superman (the movie) had been leaping tall buildings in a single bound -- so faster than a speeding bullet, we decided it would be a perfect parody sketch for Hope & Company as part of a one-hour special entitled Hope, Woman & Song taped at the Ambassador Auditorium in Pasadena, California and featuring guest stars Pat Boone, Debby Boone, Sammy Davis, Jr. and Debbie Reynolds. The show was produced by Buz Kohan. I took these photos at dress rehearsal.

Pat Boone is Doctor Mad Mad, a less-than-honorable scientist who has hatched a plan to clone the world's most famous crime fighter, Superiorman. Here he tells his nurse (Debbie Boone) that he's invited Superiorman's girlfriend, Lois Inane, ace reporter for the Daily Meteor, to his laboratory for a rarely-granted interview. He will take the comely reporter hostage and use her as bait to lure Superiorman into his carefully-crafted web. Soon, Lois arrives to conduct her interview and is escorted into Dr. Mad's laboratory.

After exchanging the usual pleasantries, Dr. Mad asks, "Join me in a drink, Miss Inane?" "I'd love to, but do you think we'll both fit in there?" The doctor spots her lapel pin that says, "PRESS." Pointing, he says, "Dare I?" Lois sips her drink and immediately realizes it contains something not usually found in a cocktail. "What have you given me?" she demands. "Nitroglycerine, Miss Inane. Any sudden moves and it's Fourth of July early!" "Wait until Superiorman hears of this," she warns. "He'll save me!" She thinks for a moment. "I guess in the meantime, dancing is definitely out?"

CHAPTER 1: "If You See an Opening, Jump In!" The author introduces his fellow scribes and describes the day-to-day life providing material for Hope's television specials and his personal appearances which at the time averaged 3-4 per week. The three staff writers for the television specials were also given the opportunity to write for Hope's personal appearances during the off-season summer months. The author's first special would be "On the Road With Bing," a memorial to Bing Crosby who had died in August while playing golf in Spain. It would be the first of 85 specials on which he would receive writing credit. Order button below.

Lee is posing for a publicity shot that will be used in promotional ads for the special. Our guests were frequently asked to remain in costume for a few extra minutes to perform these duties for the NBC photographer. Lee Marvin was a marvelous comic actor who could convey so much humor with body language alone. Note also that the set has been built on a platform. When multiple sketches were scheduled to be taped on the same day before the same audience, the set was on wheels so it could be quickly rolled out to make room for the new one.

Here's Lee as he appeared in our second parody sketch, a takeoff on the first Best Picture Academy Award winner, "Wings." Our version, entitled "Thighs," starred Lee as an overbearing World War I Air Corps captain stationed outside Paris and viing with a young lieutenant (Hope) for the attention of the company's attractive flight nurse, Polly (Ann Jillian). Bent on removing his competition permanently, he orders Hope on a suicide mission to shoot down the elusive German fighter-ace, Baron von Schitckhoven, or die trying. Preferably the latter.

"Put Another Shrimp on the Barbie, Mate!"

By the late 1970s, Bob Hope specials had been airing regularly, averaging eight-to twelve hours per year, for close to a quarter-century, and they had become, not surprisingly, not very special anymore. So at the behest of Texaco, with whom he had signed a new three-year contract, he agreed to take the show on the road, warming up with a journey to London for 1977’s America Salutes the Queen.

Returning home with symptoms of travel bug-itis, he immediately laid plans to take the show to the land Down Under — Australia. He put the two-hour special in the hands of an experienced, Australian-born producer named Chris Bearde — again, bowing to his sponsor, Texaco, who preferred he hire separate producers for each special.

The critically acclaimed tour which included stops in Auckland, New Zealand; Sydney; Adelaide; Brisbane; Melbourne and Perth would prove to be a major turning point for the Bob Hope Show, which suddenly acquired wings and could turn up at just about any spot on the globe.

Over the next fifteen years, Hope would take the show to Peking and Shanghai, China; Stockholm, Sweden; Papeete, Tahiti; Bermuda, Mexico, the Middle East, Moscow, London and Paris.

In 1978, both Barbara's show "I Dream of Jeannie" and Florence's "The Brady Bunch" were still in their first runs on Australian television so the girls were mobbed whenever they were spotted taping segments around Perth. While popular American TV series arrived Down Under well after they had run in the states, technically, Aussie TV was superior to that in the US; they had adopted a signal transmission system that utilized more horizontal lines which produced clearer, crisper images on the screen.

TIE ME KANGAROO DOWN, SPORT!

One day during a break, we ventured into the Outback a few miles to visit a national wild animal preserve. Here, Florence Henderson makes friends with a baby 'roo called "joeys." She immediately nicknamed the little guy "Joey Brady," Mother knagaroos are able to nurse as many as three joeys simultaneously at different stages of development -- which probably explains Florence's affinity for them. Mom can also choose her delivery date, postponing it in cases of drought or famine until conditions for newborns to survive improve. No surprise that kangaroos thrive and no one drives in the Outback at night without a heavy steel 'roo guard welded to the front bumper.

Barney McNulty, Hope's cue card engineer for over 35 years at the time, draws a bead on one of the park's prize emus. An incurable photographer, Barney was never without a camera and snapped endlessly during every film or TV show he ever worked on. His photos today are priceless; he captured candid shots of stars from Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau to Sammy Davis, Jr., Elizabeth Taylor, Jack Nicholson, Frank Sinatra and Sophia Loren. He worked on so many movies and TV series over the years, he was welcomed through the front gate of every major TV network or film studio in Hollywood. Barney was the brother of Penny Singleton who played Blondie in the movies.

HOW NOW, CHAIRMAN MAO?

In 1974, soon after Richard Nixon opened relations with the People’s Republic of China, Hope began a behind-the-scenes campaign to become the first American entertainer to tape a television special there. He spent the next five years cajoling the State Department and the Department of Defense — at the start of every new season, I’d say, “We doing China this year?” and he’d say, “Any day now. Stay packed.”

Leaning on a raft of influential government pals including Henry Kissinger and calling in markers he’d been collecting from the government since World War II, he finally received permission to take our show there as part of a cultural exchange program dubbed “Ping-Pong Diplomacy” by the press. On June 16, 1979, after a four-hour flight from Narita, Japan, a Chinese Airlines 707 filled with our merry band of mirth makers eager to get their first look at this hotbed of Communism, touched down at the Peking Airport.

Our guest stars would arrive over the next several days — Mikhail Baryshnikov, Crystal Gayle, Big Bird from Sesame Street, mimes Shields and Yarnell and a popular disco-duo, Peaches and Herb. Booking the show had not been easy since we’d be spending a full month on location — three weeks in Peking and a week in Shanghai. We were soon convoyed to the twenty-five story Peking Hotel in small vans that carried about six people. (They would be available to us throughout our visit like free taxis.) During the half-hour drive, we got
our first look at the hustle and bustle of life in the PRC and noticed few vehicles among the seemingly endless lines of bicycles. Bicycles were the norm — millions of them.

The hotel was about six blocks from Tiananmen Square and on the main thoroughfare that leads to the Forbidden City. There, a few years later, a student protester would gain the admiration of the world by making a Chinese Army tank blink first. We were welcomed by the starched hotel staff standing in formation on the front steps. Each smiled and bowed as we passed. This custom would be repeated when we checked out, and again in Shanghai when we checked into the hotel there three weeks later.

Most of the company — staff, crew and talent, forty-five of us in all — were lodged in the Peking (whose marble-heavy architecture resembled a Hilton shipped in from Moscow). The Russians had supervised its design and construction, and it showed. Our rooms were basic, comfortable — a color TV was included, but for some strange reason, received only programs in Chinese — and they were never locked. The sliding doors to the balconies were double-pane glass to keep guests insulated from the street noise below.

Each day, we received as a per diem in Chinese yuan, but there was nowhere to spend it — no bars, clubs, pool halls, bowling alleys, or fitness centers. Not even a Starbucks, a McDonald’s or a KFC. Not so today, however. When I returned to China in 2007, I found a country as Americanized as Cleveland. (See photos of that visit at: www.laughmakers.blogspot.com)

The Hole in the Great Wall Gang

Here, the entire cast (including producer James Lipton, director Bob Wynn, associate producer Linda Hope and Mrs. Dolores Hope) gather for a rare photo atop the Great Wall. Bob Hope had just taped his opening musical number "I'm Off on the Road to China" (ala Road to Morocco) on a section of the Wall that had been cleared of tourists. The show, at a cost of $1.7 million, was the most expensive special Hope ever hosted during his 40 year career with NBC. (To view hundreds of photos -- including this one screen-size -- both from this visit and the author's return to China in 2007, click on the photo above.)

Sesame Street: Shanghai Version

Guests on our 1979 China special included Mickhail Baryshnikov, Crystal Gayle, mimes Robert Shields and Lorene Yarnell and Big Bird from Sesame Street. Operated from inside the bird's costume by Carroll Spinney, the popular childrens' character was the only member of Jim Henson's Muppet Troupe allowed to perform independently of the group. The Big Bird costume was maintained by a long-time puppeteer named Kermit (no relation to the frog) Love who replaced an average of 300 dyed turkey feathers following each performance. Spinney operates the character with the help of a small TV monitor and a fan for air circulation. Big Bird was such a hit with the kids, there's now a whole generation of Chinese children who have sworn off Peking Duck. (To view more photos like this plus shots of the modern China taken in 2007 during the author's return visit, click on Big Bird's beak.)

The Road to China

Click on this photo to read a chapter from Bob's new book, "THE LAUGH MAKERS," recalling Bob Hope's 1979 month-long invasion of the Peoples Republic of China. "How Now Chairman Mao?" is filled with fascinating stories of suspicion, mistrust, international intrigue and near-expulsion as agents of the Red Guard meet their match against members of the elite NBC Peacock Unit. Gunboat Diplomacy is replaced by Punchline Appeasement as Hope and his merry band of mirthmakers survive a bumpy ride on the Orient Express. All aboard for an unforgettable ride! www.laughmakers.blogspot.com

VISIT the CHINA of 1979

Test drive Bob's book by clicking on Hope's Fu-Manchu mustache for the FREE SAMPLE CHAPTER entitled "How Now, Chairman Mao?" the story of Hope's historic special from the People's Republic in 1979. Hop aboard as Hope visits the Forbidden City, the Great Wall, Tienanmen Square and the Marble Boat (shown above) at Beijing's Summer Palace built by the Empress Dowager in 1400. The photo-rich site also covers Bob's return to Beijing and Shanghai in 2007. It's a rare opportunity to observe China as you've never seen it before. Bon voyage!

THE MILITARY ACADEMY SPECIALS

In 1980, we taped the first of three specials produced by James Lipton (who now hosts Inside the Actors Studio on Bravo). The first in the series which would celebrate Hope's birthday each May, was taped at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs. All three shows -- at West Point in 1981 and Annapolis in 1982 -- would feature prominent military or government luminaries who would deliver a tribute to Hope at the conclusion of the specials. At the Air Force Academy, former astronaut Alan Shepard performed the honors.

In his monologue, Hope delivered these lines:

Thank you, cadets. I'm so happy to be here at the Air Force Academy... or, as it's referred to by the other service academies, "Rocky Mountain Disneyland."

We had a great flight in and I want to thank the Air Force for providing the transportation. It's the first time I've ever flown in a cruise missile.

When we arrived, the pilot landed on the football field. We made it, but next time I wish he'd try it lengthwise.

Guests on the special included Loni Anderson, Andy Gibb, Diana Ross, Kenneth Mars, Olympic ice skaters Randy Gardner and Tai Bablonia and Hope's wife, Dolores.

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The following year, we were off to West Point where fellow writer Gig Henry and I were billeted in the academy's Hotel Thayer, where the Iranian hostages had recently stayed -- their first stop on U.S. soil after over a year in captivity. I bought this poster of a ceremonial drum major's helmet and, during the course of our week's stay, had it autographed by each of our guests: George C. Scott, Glen Campbell, Robert Urich, Mickey Rooney, Brooke Shields, Marie Osmond, Mary Martin, Sugar Ray Leonard, Leroy Reems, Wanda Richards and George Bush the Elder.

Hope's West Point monologue included these lines:

Thank you, cadets. You can relax. I have a directive from the superintendent authorizing you to laugh until further notice.

No, I can't believe the discipline here. Yesterday, I saw a porcupine chewing out a racoon for haviung his hands in his pouch.

And these military regulations are strictly enforced. As soon as taps sounded last night, all the lights went out and the Hudson River stopped flowing.

With so many high-ranking politicians in attendance, Secret Service agents were everywhere. Here is the pass I was issued that allowed me full access to anywhere on the Academy grounds.

For our final academy special in 1982, we set our sextant on our next port-of-call, Annapolis, Maryland and the U.S. Naval Academy. Guest stars would include Bernadette Peters, James Coburn, Brooke Shields, Jerry Cooney, Larry Holmes, Charlton Heston, Leslie Neilsen, Sammy Davis, Jr., Robert Goulet, the cast of Broadway's Sophisticated Ladies and the Academy's most famous pigskin grad, Roger Staubach. The now traditional tribute to Hope would be delivered by former Secretary of State, Al Haig.

Here's a sampling from the monologue Hope delivered that day:

Here we are at the Naval Academy, the nation's only federally-funded yacht club.

This morning, I had breakfast at King Hall and I've never had to eat so fast. They give you three minutes to chew, but yoiu swallow on your own time.

This place is so military. The midshipmen are required to salute anyone in uniform. And I mean anyone. Annapolis has the proudest mailman in the postal service.

In our sketch, we cast Roger Staubach as a sought-after high school senior (which indeed he had been) being recruited by Navy's ace-recruiter, Admiral John Paul Smith (Hope) who's brought along an added bonus, his attractive niece, Felice (Bernadette).

BERNADETTE:
You'll love military life. Women go crazy over men in uniform.

ROGER:
I know. That's why mom married dad.

BERNADETTE:
Your father was in the Navy?

ROGER:
No, he was a bus driver.

This line got the expected laugh, but the next one, delivered by Bernadette brough down the house.

BERNADETTE:
Oh, a graduate of the Air Force Academy.

In the mass of background information we had received on the Academy, we noted that middies refer to Air Force graduates as "bus drivers." We knew we had a sure-fire, built-in laugh.

The academy specials proved to be among the highest-rated Hope specials of the 1980s.

Posted on Amazon.com...

The Laugh Makers - A Good Time Between The Covers!, May 27, 2009

By	Casey Keller "Casey Keller" (Valencia, CA USA) - See all my reviews

Wow! If you're looking for a fun read, you've come to the right place. Bob Mills, one of Bob Hope's final generation of writers, gives you an inside look at what it was like to work with this giant among 20th century entertainers in The Laugh Makers.

I love books about the world of entertainment, and this is a goodie. Instead of some dry, academic look at an artists work, or a tawdry peek through the keyhole at some entertainer's life, Mills takes you inside a brilliant and extremely specialized niche of show business lore.

Younger people may look on Hope as some corny old guy who used to be on TV - when they look back on him at all - but there was a time when he was the very hippest comic/comedian around. My generation turned on Hope when he became a symbol of the Vietnam War - but we were unfairly failing to distinguish between supporting the troops and supporting the war. The truth is, Hope made it big in every show business endeavor. He was a star in vaudeville, on Broadway, on radio, in movies and, of course, television. If you made a list of the ten most important, successful and loved American entertainers of the last century, Hope would be right there at the top.

Mills picks up the story in the late 70's, when he left a successful law career to follow his dream and write comedy. He follows Hope through the years of NBC TV specials, the travels around the world, especially to China and the late night phone calls asking for jokes and rewrites. Mills takes us past Hope the institution and gives us a glimpse at Hope, the man. Flawed? Of course, but according to the author, a decent guy and a wonderful colleague.

Happily, Mills doesn't drop the wit and taste for a well-turned phrase that kept him on Hope's payroll all those years. That's part of what makes the book such a fun read.

If you enjoy The Laugh Makers, you'll also like "See You In Nairobi: How Work Became Fun-The Second Time Around" by Howard Albrecht... another wonderful reminiscence of a life spent toiling in the TV comedy vineyards.

WHAT THEY'RE SAYING ACROSS THE POND...

Looking for a book to take on holiday with you? Why not check out The Laugh Makers: A Behind-The-Scenes Tribute To Bob Hope's Incredible Gag Writers. Whether you're lounging poolside in Croatia or sitting on a beach in Cornwall, writer Bob Mills has the power to instantly transport you to a bygone era of "variety, song-and-dance, brilliant patter and a seemingly endless parade of laughs."

Through 82 photos and countless anecdotes, Bob Mills tells of the goings-on behind the scenes on The Bob Hope Show, focusing on the show's talented gag writers. Celebrity gossip-mongers will be well satisfied, just as those after nothing more than a return to slapstick will be.

Let us know what you think!

Kirsty Eaglesham
DoYouRemember.co.uk/

China Bans Stones Tunes

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

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