MONDAY, June 14, 2010

A new musical based on the life of Pope Benedict XVI has opened in Rome.  Based on “Little Orphan Annie,” it’s called “Little Altar Boy Andy” who is harassed by the orphanage’s Mother Superior, Sister Hannigan, but is rescued by his court-appointed guardian, Cardinal Warbucks.  

Kevin Costner told a Congressional Committee investigating methods of stopping the Gulf oil spill that he’s invented an oil-water separator that would work perfectly.  Question is, can we trust someone who couldn’t figure out a way to avoid drinking his own urine in “Water World?”

General Motors will debut a new model of its electric car, the Chevy Volt, that will operate much longer between charges.  Not to be left in the dust, competitor Ford has unveiled its electric-powered sedan that will teach you to dance and pilot a 747 -- the Ford Travolta.

Welch-born actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, aka Mrs. Michael Douglas, has been honored by Britain’s Queen Elizabeth with a CBE.  The royal title comes with a complimentary tiara, a scepter and complete access to Prince Andrew without paying Sarah Ferguson.

The US Ambassador to Great Britain says that  President Obama's referring to BP as “British Petroleum,” a name the company hasn’t used since 1998, was inadvertent and doesn’t mean the president is down on the British.  No more so than calling Sarah Palin a nitwit would mean he’s down on Alaskans.  

______________________________

Excerpted From THE LAUGH MAKERS  

HOPE/BURNS: The act was a dilly in Cleveland and Philly... We rocked ‘em in Brockton and Troy...What a joy, they went batty in old Cincinnati... They screamed in Moline, Illinois...

BURNS: We had ’em in Chatham...

HOPE: We killed ’em in Wilton. They raved in New Haavden...

BURNS: (speaks) Hold it! Where the hell is New Haav-den?

HOPE: Somewhere near Conned-id-did-icutt.

HOPE/BURNS: (sing)  That’s the way it was in vaude...Listen every son and daughter... Aren’t you glad that you have bought a... ticket to a good old vaudeville!

Sol Weinstein was the most talented song writer I ever worked with. A former jazz disc jockey, he wrote several songs recorded by major artists including “The Curtain Falls,” heard for the first time on the Bobby Darin Show when Sol and Howard were on his staff in the sixties. Bobby used it to close his act, and it’s sung by Kevin Spacey, as Darin, in his 2004 biofilm, Beyond the Sea. Hope sang it at the conclusion of "A Tribute to the Palace Theater," and its lyrics conclude this book.

The comic duet took about an hour-and-a-half to tape. Both men had just returned from long road trips. But since we had the audience already in place for another number, they decided to go out and wing the duet without rehearsing it first.  Several problems were immediately apparent. Since it’s an original song and not a familiar standard, it was more difficult to sing. And the words are alliterative — some difficult to pronounce. Also, the routine involved choreography. Singing unfamiliar lyrics while dancing proved to be a killer. And, most important, these guys had been around awhile — they claimed they met while appearing in the lounge on Noah’s Ark. At the time, Burns was 83 and Hope was 76.

They had begun the number about three times when Keller told the director to keep the tape running even during the flubs. The audience, of course, loved being witnesses to the train wreck. Hope and Burns adlibbed throughout, ribbing each other while referring to mutual friends they had known in vaudeville.  When Burns drifted off camera, Hope stopped the track and said, “We’ve got to put a string on him. All at once, I was doing a single.”  After about ten unsuccessful attempts on the line “The act was a dilly in Cleveland and Philly,” George looked at the audience and said, “The act was a dilly? The act was pathetic.” The audience roared.  I replay the outtake reel for friends who often ask, “Why didn’t you make an entire special out of this?”  With both legends now gone, the tape is priceless.

George Burns, appeared in many specials during the seventies and eighties. He and Hope even did a personal appearance tour together with Hope, in drag, performing the role of Gracie. Asked once if he would ever retire, George replied, “I’ve been retired since my first day in show business.” He had dropped out of the third grade to form the Pee-Wee Quartet that sang and danced for coins on the street corners of New York.  Like Hope, George had a strong work ethic and remained a star his entire life, rehearsing his act daily (though it hadn’t changed in decades) with his longtime pianist Morty Jacobs. George Burns died in 1996 at age 100.

Tomorrow:  Hope visits West Point 

Order THE LAUGH MAKERS on line:

http://www.amazon.com/LAUGH-MAKERS-Behind-Scenes-Incredible/product-reviews/1593933231/ref=cm_cr_pr_link_2?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&pageNumber=2

Also available in an unabridged audio version read by the author: 

http://www.audible.com/adbl/site/products/ProductDetail.jsp?BV_SessionID=@@@@0545479184.1272211432@@@@&BV_EngineID=cccjadekfdmleefcefecekjdffidfmf.0&productID=BK_BEAR_000001

UK orders:

http://www.audible.co.uk/aduk/site/product.jsp?p=BK_BEAR_000001UK&BV_SessionID=@@@@1904657385.1272326590@@@@&BV_EngineID=cccgadekffeehdjcefecekjdfikdffg.0