STALLING FOR TIME… California’s John Wayne Airport will set up temporary, portable voting booths during the presidential primary to accommodate travelers unable to vote at home. The booths are roomy, comfortable and completely “Larry-Craig-proofed.”
A DREAM… To celebrate the slain civil rights leader’s birthday, Bush visited the Martin Luther King Memorial Library in Memphis. Addressing a crowd of supporters on the museum steps, Goofy told them that he’s always considered King “the finest host in the history of CNN or any other TV distributor.”
SCI FI… Oliver Stone has announced that he’s working on a script dramatizing the life of George W. Bush. Joining Quintin Tarrantino’s “Natural Born Killers II,” based on the Bush administration’s conduct of the Iraq war.
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“A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness.”
George W. Bush 9/18/2000 CBS’ “The Edge”
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MISCAST… Unable to invoke voter interest in any primary state, Fred Thompson has pulled the plug on his bid for the Oval Office. But he did learn a lot. He found out that limited acting talent just isn’t enough to convince people you really give a damn.
COM‘ON DOWN… Meanwhile, Giuliani has been concentrating his efforts on Florida where he hopes that former New Yorkers who have moved there will help him win. No word yet on how he plans to keep them alive long enough to vote.
BOREDWALK… The Milton Bradley Co. has launched a contest to name 68 cities for its new “Monopoly Here & Now: The World Edition” which goes on sale February 28 in 45 countries. The new “Get Out of Jail Free Card” will be named for either Paris Hilton, Britney Spears or Keifer Sutherland.
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PAPER OR CLOTH?… Following the example of San Francisco and Beijing, the Whole Foods supermarket chain has banned plastic bags for groceries. A further indication of their aversion to anything plastic, last week they banned Mitt Romney.
CULTURAL REVOLUTION… After two consecutive years of declining attendance, Hong Kong Disneyland has redesigned Mickey Mouse, dressing him in a red Mao jacket. And they didn’t stop there. Snow White’s seven dwarfs have been replaced by a Gang of Four.
BURUMPBUMP… A group of Israeli and Palestrinian standup comedians have begun a two-month, 15 city tour of college campuses, comedy clubs and county fairs. They’re staying at the same hotels, but out of habit, the Israeli comics keep cutting off the Palestinians’ room service.
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A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!
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