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HOLIDAY EDITION

AP -- The city of Dartford, England, birthplace of Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger, will soon begin naming streets and roads in honor of the group's hits including Dandelion Row, Little Red Walk, Rainbow Close, Cloud Close, Sympathy Street and Stones Avenue.
  • The decision of the city fathers recalls the naming of streets in the British city of Buffington after World War II big band hits. Initially popular practice was abandoned after the town's volunteer fire brigade took so long writing down the address, the flaming structure at 11568 Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me Lane burned to the ground.
  • The earliest known evidence of such a practice occurred in Rome when Carpethian monks named streets in the Vatican after Top Forty Gregorian Chants. In fact, the pope's residence is still located at the corner of Te Deum Boulevard and Adeste Fidelis Drive.
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[] BROADCAST ALERT! Don't miss tuning in on New Year's morn to hear Bob mike side in Pasadena for a three-hour audio description of the Rose Parade on Colorado Avenue. Broadcast live and commercial-free, the show will reach 2.7 million listeners worldwide via NPR satellite and by live stream over the internet at www.larrs.org. Manned entirely by volunteers, the broadcast is brought to you by the Los Angeles Radio Reading Service for the Blind and kickoff is at 7am Pacific. Don't miss it!
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Rx
A recent article in the medical journal Pharmacotherapy (the November issue with the nude centerfold of Dr. Scholl's mistress), warns that otherwise competent and experienced physicians sometimes prescribe drugs to treat conditions for which the drugs have not been medically approved.and that can, in some cases, harm the patients ingesting them.
  • This is by no means a new phenomenon. In 1936, Dr. Irving Pincus, a Pittsburgh rhumatologist, was disciplined for advising a patient to rub his gout-inflicted knee with a live penguin, believing the arctic bird would be close enough to the accepted ground peach pits to provide similar relief. It was approved medical practice at the time to use penguins only to treat acute cases of low self-esteem -- and even then, only after massive doses of pine tar mixed with sow's urine proved ineffective. The careless Dr. Pincus escaped prosecution only after the bird's owner failed, after repeated attempts which stretched over several weeks to identify his penguin in a lineup.
  • The earliest known documented case of miss-prescription occurred in 1643 in the English village of Suddenbury-on-the-Thames. Dr. Rodney Pace-Wellington, third Earl of Scheib, was accused by the Knights bridge Constabulary of prescribing live maggots instead of the commonly used leeches. Represented in Magistrates Court by the legendary barrister Bailey of the Balboa, the earl was acquitted after explaining that his wife had inadvertently served them to her guests at a dinner party the night before, believing them to be escargot.
  • On rare occasions, a drug intended for one purpose has been shown to be more effective for another, only through the empirical evidence produced by its mistaken use. In the 1700s, the most effective treatment for snakebite was believed to be oral extraction of the venom (performed as soon as possible after the bite) by a certified village wench. Tarts could sometimes be substituted, but only if the snake's venom had not yet reached the delicate scrotal tissues. (Sluts could be used only as a last resort). Gradually, news of the treatment got around and breeding venomous reptiles for social purposes became big business. The process was outlawed in 1783, but not before it had become the eighteenth century's version of E-Harmony dot com. Due to the treatment's popularity, snake-bite kits are still referred to in some regions of the south as "strumpets."
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[] [] [] Bob's book, THE LAUGH MAKERS, which recalls his two decades on the road with Bob Hope, will be available soon from Bear Manor Media. It's a delightful, side-splitting journey back to the sketch comedy of television's Golden Age -- a long-ago era of variety, song and dance, brilliant patter and a seemingly endless parade of laughs sprung from the genius of "gag men," that talented gang of wit-blessed wordsmiths to whom the book pays well-deserved homage. Jam-packed with stories, anecdotes and un-retouched photos, THE LAUGH MAKERS recalls the often-hilarious, sometimes heartwarming and always touching tales of the legendary stars who guested on The Bob Hope Show. Watch for the publication date on www.bearmanormedia.com
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AP -- For the first time in forty years,the BBC will not televise Britain's most popular dog show. Organizers of "The Crufts Show" withdrew the program after the BBC aired a documentary alleging that excessive inbreeding has caused serious health problems in some pedigreed breeds.
  • British history is replete with similar controversies. In 1546, the Amalgamated Union of Court Jesters called a strike and refused to allow their members to perform at the marriage of King Fornicatius XVI to his half-sister, Princess Esmeralda of Prussia, who herself was the offspring of a count who had abandoned his family and attempted to force Joan of Arc to sell Tupperware. Christians and lions, summoned at the last minute from Rome, were substituted along with a popular lyre and lute jazz ensemble. The jesters turned out to be right. Later, Esmerada gave birth to three village idiots and a troll.
  • In modern times, palace physicians were wary of the marriage of Prince Charles to commoner Camilla Parker Bowles, but the crisis was averted when Charles graciously consented to be neutered. Evidence of the procedure is now a popular tourist attraction, displayed in a jar at Windsor Castle, replacing the Crown Jewels.

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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