REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY… British Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced that he’ll reduce troops in Iraq by half. The problem, he says, will be backing out without being picked off by one of Bush’s trigger-happy Blackwater rent-a-cops.
BORED WALK… The mayor of Atlantic City, under indictment for fraudulently claiming service in Special Forces, is missing along with his city-issued car. Adding to the mystery, he was last seen with a Spanish speaking reporter from Telemundo.
THREE POINTER… Larry Craig will be installed in the Idaho Hall of Fame. Not to be outdone, the National Association of NFL Linemen will soon honor him with their annual “Wide Stance Award.”
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[] BULLETIN! To catch late-breaking headlines (OJ, anyone?) the moment they
hit the street, check the "Bereft On The Left" blog often. To insure that you don't miss a
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www.bereftontheleft.blogspot.com
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NO REFUND… Marion Jones has returned her five Olympic medals. Within a half hour, OJ called and offered to steal them back.
KOSHER… Israeli officials have signaled a willingness to divide Jerusalem. Evidenced by the new “Deli” and “No Deli” Zones.
OIL OF MONET… Vandals broke into a Paris museum and defaced a painting by impressionist Claude Monet. Several suspects have already been identified from the painting, one of Monet’s lesser-known works entitled “Vandals Breaking Into a Museum.”
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“I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome.”
George W. Bush 12/12/05 Philadelphia, PA
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ROYALLY FLUSHED… Britney Spears says she feels like another Princess Di. Before you scoff, you have to admit that marrying a future king isn’t that different from appearing on Larry King.
DANG ME, DANG ME… That Florida federal prosecutor who was jailed after he flew to Ohio to have sex with a 5-year old hung himself in his cell with a bed sheet. Actually, it was the third sheet guards smuggled in to him. The first two broke.
DO DO THAT VOODOO… A Haitian memorial monument has been unveiled in Savannah. Visitors are encouraged to stick pins in it.
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PATE MATE… Experimenting on mice, a team of medical researchers at the Cleveland Clinic believe they have found a method of transplanting an entire head of hair from a cadaver. Unfortunately, only one human has undergone the costly procedure---Donald Trump.
ROUNDING THE TURN… Champion British jockey Kieran Fallon went on trial at the Old Bailey for fixing races only one day after winning the Prix de l’ Arc du Triomphe in Paris. Aboard the Cincinnati three year old, Pete Rose.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
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