THUMBSCREWED... Bush says "This nation doesn't torture people." Unless, of course, you count having to watch this nitwit stumble his way through two terms.
CRAIG LISTS... Larry Craig says he's decided to serve out his Senate term to "clear his name." Flush away all those innuendoes, so to speak.
NO LIBRARIAN... Five time Olympic gold medal winner Marion Jones has admitted using steroids. Would have gotten away with it, too, if she wasn't four home runs behind Barry Bonds.
CLARENCE REVISITED... Isiah Thomas was found guilty of sexual harrassment while coaching the New York Knicks. He could be forgiven if he had harrassed some opposing teams.
PIN NUMBER... Republicans are outraged over Barack Obama's refusal to wear a flag pin on his lapel. Their candidates are required to wear the flag, except of course, when they wrap themselves in it.
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[] BULLETIN! To catch major, late-breaking headlines (OJ, anyone?) the moment they hit the street, check the "Bereft On The Left" blog often. To insure that you don't miss a beat, it's a smart idea to add the blog to your "Favorites" list.
www.bereftontheleft.blogspot.com
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TROJAN HORSE... The FDA is considering a new drug catagory--"behind the counter"--to be dispensed by pharmacists. Much like teens have purchased rubbers for time immemorial.
EARLY VIEW... Paleontologists in Utah have uncovered fossils of a birdlike dinosaur which had 800 teeth. Thay've given it the scientific name, "Rosierious O'Donnellus Rex."
GOAL!... A new health study has shown that female athletes suffer more concussions playing body contact sports than boys. They're being advised to pursue gentler sports like, say, presidential politics.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
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