BLACK EYE... Dan Rather has sued CBS for $70 million, claiming they made him a scapegoat during the Bush National Guard service scandal. Actually, he only wants $50 million---the additional $20 million is for hiring Katie Couric.
GENERAL DISCONTENT... Petreaus tells Lindsay Graham, "Expect 60 to 90 casualties a month in Iraq for the foreseeable future." None of whom, you can bet your sweet patootee, will be named Dave Patreaus.
EXIT STAGE LEFT... The president of Iraq tells Blackwater: "Scram!" He did say, however, that he'd have no problem with University of Florida campus cops carrying tasers.
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"I think it's very important for the American president to mean what he says. That's why I understand that the enemy could misread what I say. That's why I try to be as clearly as I can."
George W. Bush 3/30/00 Milwaukee, WIS
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TWANGED... GOP C&W warbler Lee Greenwood pulled out of a Denver tribute show for US military, police and firemen, claiming his $20,000 fee hadn't been paid. Hey, he's not THAT proud to be an American.
MEOW... Bowing to complaints from health officials, the British Fashion Council has issued new guidelines for all new catwalk models: They must be free from eating disorders and at least 16. Pounds.
CHOP TIX... Chinese versions of "My Fair Lady," "Mary Poppins" and "Momma Mia" will be staged in Beijing. With counterfeit original cast soundtrack albums for sale in the lobby.
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Catch Bob's weekly radio show "INSIDE TELEVISION" for the latest articles, celebrity profiles and interviews. The show airs on-line Thursday mornings from 8:20 to 9:00 am. PDT on LARRS, the all-volunteer, commercial free, non-profit Los Angeles Radio Reading Service----24-hour Newsradio for the Blind, an affiliate of Minnesota's Radio Talking Book Network.
www.larrs.org
password: intelligence
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'TWEENER... Australia's "Gold Coast Fashion Week" showcased a 13-year old runway model. A spokesman for the Jon Benet Ramsey Agency was unavailable for comment.
HALFWAY TO THE STARS... San Francisco plans to build a 1375-foot tall building, which will qualify as the tallest on the West Coast. They haven't had a structural tourist attraction out there since Carol Doda.
CAR HOP... Paris Hilton has filed suit against Hallmark for using her image on a card that says "Paris's First Day as a Waitress." In a related story, the Restaurant Workers Union has filed a defamation suit over the same card.
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[] BULLETIN! To catch late-breaking headlines (OJ, anyone?) the moment they hit the street, check the "Bereft On The Left" blog often. It's updated frequently and more when circumstances merit---our broadcast clients who rely on us for daily show prep deserve nothing less. To insure that you don't miss a beat, it's a smart idea to add the blog to your "Favorites" list.
www.bereftontheleft.blogspot.com
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A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
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