Ten Hut!

[] The Pentagon maintains a database of 12 million youths available for military service. (USA Today 4/24)

At www.cannon-fodder.com.

[] Seagate, the world's largest disc drive maker, is beefing up its drives to 750 gigabytes. (USA Today 4/26)

Or, enough memory to store all the rap sheets of crooked congressmen, convicted rappers, jailed athletes, defrocked priest pedophiles and disgraced CEO's with enough left over for all of the Bush administration's excuses for failing to capture Osama Bin Laden.

[] The Peoples Liberation Army of China has begun rejecting recruits with tattoos . (USA Today 4/25)

Except, of course, quotations of Chairman Mao.

[] Wartime presidents Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt never served in the military. (USA Today 4/25)

Unfortunately, that's their only legitimate comparison to Bush.

[] Prince Charles's private diaries have been published, revealing some surprises about Britain's heir to the throne. (Cable News Network 4/25)

1] Earns extra money at Eaton as an English accent tutor for Richard Burton.
2] In 1949, teams with Andrew Lloyd Webber to invent the portable barbecue.
3] In 1956, briefly sits in as a rehearsal drummer for the Beatles.
4] He once dated Dame Edna.
5] During times of stress, he sometimes wears an upper lip stiffener.

[] Leonardo DiCaprio was injured while filming "The Blood Diamond." (Cable News Network 4/24)

Looks like the blood on the diamond turned out to be Leo's.

[] Papa John's will offer 10-minute pizzas in a third of their 2500 stores. (USA Today 4/25)

Details are being kept under wraps but apparently the process involves yellow cake uranium.

[] In a campaign to promote the state's tourism, Dolly Parton and a morphed Elvis Presley appear in a TV commercial driving a convertable through Tennessee. (USA Today 4/25)

While listening to a Nat King Cole/ Natalie Cole duet on the radio.

[] (Photo Caption) Major League umpires picket in front of Municipal Stadium in Haggerstown, Maryland. (USA Today 4/26)

They have to walk while leading one another along, like elephants.

[] N.A.S.A. is discussing a joint mission to space with the Chinese. (USA Today 4/26)

For the first time, astronauts will eat meals catered by Madame Wu.

[] Ben & Jerry's held their annual worldwide "free cone" day for kids. (USA Today 4/26)

They're not completely altruistic, however. The event is subsidized by the National Association of Childrens Dentists.

[] According to the Obesity Society, 51% of women think they're overweight, compared to 32% of men. (USA Today 4/26)

No surprise here. Ever hear a man ask "Do I look fat in these Levis?"

[] A.T.A. Airlines charges $9.95 for a pillow and blanket, Singapore Airlines $27 for internet access, Alaska Airlines $10 for a CD player, Frontier $8 for a movie and American West $7 for meals. (USA Today 4/25)

Available soon:

1] Emergency oxygen = $1 a minute
2] Reinforced seat belt = $4 per inch
3] Flotation device = $19
4] Flight attendants who don't say "Ba-bye, ba-bye... " = $49.95
5] Pilot = $225,000 a year

[] The major airlines are examining the feasibility of offering "standing room" in economy class on flights that are overbooked. (Los Angeles Daily News 4/25)

"Please make sure that you are in a locked and upright position for landing."

[] Violet Palmer, the N.B.A.'s only female referee, will become the first woman to work a playoff game Tuesday night. (USA Today 4/26)

Tip-off will take place at 8 p.m., providing the temperature in the arena is within Violet's comfort zone.

[] The National Academy of Science reports that crickets in Nevada, Utah and Idaho survive draughts by eating one another. (USA Today 4/26)

Particularly two species: "Hannibalectorus Insectivora" and "Jeffreydahmerus Insectivora."

[] According to Catholic Digest, 73% of Catholics say the "Da Vinci Code" has no effect on their faith and 43% of them plan to see the movie. (USA Today 4/26)

Proving yet again that science fiction is science fiction, whether told by Matthew, Mark, Luke, John or Tom Hanks.