[] A veteran C.I.A. analyst nearing retirement was fired for leaking sensitive information to the press. (Cable News Network 4/23)
Mary McCarthy's mistake wasn't releasing the info, but failing to give Bob Novak first dibs on it.
[] The marble head of Dionysus, dating from the first century AD and stolen from Mussolini's villa near Rome , was returned to Italian authorities by New York police. (New York Times 4/22)
In a goodwill gesture, Italy returned the head of Mario Lanza.
[] New N.B.A. rule will give teams two free throws and a turnover for a clear path foul. (USA Today 4/21)
And an extra free throw if the offending player's tattoos clash with the victim's.
[] The Latino music distributor Urban Box Office will release "Nuestra Himno," a Spanish version of the National Anthem. (Associated Press 4/23)
Which begins "Jose, can you see... "
[] Rumors surfacing on the internet that Tom Cruise planned to eat his new baby's placenta proved to be false. (Los Angeles Times 4/23)
But there is some truth to the rumor he plans to choke the bad guys in "Mission Impossible IV" with the umbilical cord.
[] Hasbro will market a modernized version of "Monopoly" with non-Atlantic City Streets, more currency and airports instead of railroads. (USA Today 4/23)
The familiar "Mr. Monopoly" will be replaced by Kenneth Lay.
[] Gurinder Chadra will direct John Travolta and Jennifer Lopez in a big-screen version of "Dallas." (Associated Press 4/22)
Jay Lo is not only in the film, they're modeling Southfork after her South Forty.
[] Former president Gerald Ford angrily accused the generals who are calling for Rumsfeld's ouster of "sending the wrong message." (Associated Press 4/22)
Then out of habit, he pardoned Bush for his war crimes.
[] After meetings with Bush, Chinese president Hu Jinto concluded his four-day visit to Washington. (Associated Press 4/20)
Bush reiterated the U.S. position on Iranian nukes, discussed the threat from North Korea, and then tried to explain why CBS chose Katie Couric over Connie Chung.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
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