[] Six retired generals, Zinni, Eaton, Newbold, Riggs, Swannuck and Batiste are calling for Rumsfeld to resign. (USA Today 4/13)
Even more foreboding to the Bush administration, they're backed by equally prominent military leaders General Mills, Admiral Dewey, Colonel Klink, Commander McHale, Captain Queeg, Major Pierce, Lieutenant Columbo, Ensign Pulver, Sergeant Bilko and Private Benjamin.
[] Pope Benedict XVI blesses the faithful, washes the feet of 12 laymen, symbolizing Jesus's pre-Last Supper washing of the apostles' feet. (USA Today 4/14)
Traditionalists could have done without the Odor-Eaters commercial.
[] A Missouri woman collected $4000 and baby supplies by faking the birth of sextuplets. (USA Today 4/14)
In the maternity ward of Kansas City's Our Lady of the Immaculate Deception Hospital.
[] The rule allowing Iraqi soldiers to desert at will has depleted some units up to 50%. They sign no contract so can go AWOL whenever they want. (USA Today 4/14)
Usually to return home for their bar mitzvah.
[] The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Control has canceled "Operation Last Call," which allowed agents to arrest drunks in bars. (USA Today 4/14)
Sober patrons objected to the restroom road blocks.
[] Among religious-themed movies scheduled to be released this year include "Peaceful Warrior" with Nick Nolte, "The Reaping" with Hillary Swank, "Apocalypto" with Mel Gibson, "The King" with William Hurt, "Evan Almighty" with Steve Corell and "The Da Vinci Code" with Tom Hanks. (USA Today 4/14)
Still in development are "The Song of Bernadette 2" with Paris Hilton, "Deuce Bigelow, Vatican Pool Boy" with Rob Schneider and "If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Lourdes" with Jennifer Lopez.
[] Duke players hire top gun criminal defense attorney Bob Bennett to refute exotic dancer's rape allegations. (CBS News 4/13)
To complicate the case even further, Wayne Gretzky's wife is facing an indictment for betting on lacrosse.
[] Geologists in Greece have discovered the fossilized feces of a worm that lived 50 million years ago. (Cable News Network 4/12)
The scientists were stunned when a DNA sample matched Tom DeLay's.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
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