E.T.? Is That You?

[] A telescope at the Harvard Smithsonian Center in Massachusetts is designed to detect light pulses sent by extra-terrestrials. (USA Today 4/12)

So far, it's only been able to detect pulses from Art Bell.

[] In Italy's race for Prime Minister, Prodi declares victory and Berlusconi demands a recount, citing "voting irregularities." (USA Today 4/12)

Aides say he's on the verge of appealing to Katherine Harris.

[] Louisiana's St. Bernard Parish may hire Michael Brown to advise them during their reconstruction. (USA Today 4/12)

That's like hiring Britney Spears to design baby seats.

[] Nikon has hired Kate Moss to advertise their new "Coolpix S6." (USA Today 4/12)

Must be the first camera to be sold by the ounce.

[] The District Attorney in the Duke rape case vows to press on despite negative DNA test results. (USA Today 4/12)

If only to help increase public awareness of lacrosse.

[] A&E's new reality series tracing the spiritual struggles of young men deciding whether to enter the Catholic priesthood is called "God or the Girl." (Los Angeles Times 4/12)

Not to be confused with the new Court TV reality series "God or the Altar Boy."

[] Mob boss Bernardo Provenzano is apprehended by authorities in Corleone, Italy after 40 years in hiding. (USA Today 4/12)

They thought they caught him in 1983, but it turned out to be James Caan.

[] Universal and Mattel Toys will produce a series of DVD's starring Barbie. (USA Today 4/12)

In the first story, Barbie embraces Scientology during a torrid affair with the Top Gun action figure.

[] Muhammed Ali sells 80% of the rights to his name and image for $50 million cash. (Los Angeles Times 4/12)

While Mike Tyson's so-far-futile attempts to buy back his name and image continue.

[] Prince Harry graduates from the Royal Military Academy. (CBS News 4/12)

He was immediately given Grenada. Not to serve there... he was given Grenada.

[] Rapper Deshaun Holton, known as Proof, was shot to death at New York's C.C.C. after hours club. He was a member of the rap group D12. (USA Today 4/12)

Now known as "D11."

[] Jennifer Lopez filed suit against ex-husband Ojani Noa to stop publication of his book about their relationship. (USA Today 4/12)

Details are sketchy, but J-Lo is apparently miffed over several comparisons to Mary Magdalene in "The Da Vinci Code."

[] HBO's "All Aboard: Rosey's Family Cruise" hosted by Rosie O'Donnell drew an average of 572,000 viewers. (USA Today 4/12)

Which is 327 fewer people than were actually on the ship.