[] The Catholic Church has demanded that Sony run a disclaimer stating that The Da Vinci Code is "entirely fictional." (Reuters 4/15)
Sony has agreed to comply, providing the Vatican does the same.
[] A federal court has affirmed the right of Harrah's Casino to fire a Reno bartender who refused to wear makeup. (Associated Press 4/15)
The bartender was relying on the "Rosey O'Donnell Rule" governing show room headliners.
[] Walter "Puggy" Pearson, World Series of Poker legend, died in Las Vegas at age 77. (Los Angeles Times 4/15)
An autopsy has confirmed that he's not bluffing.
[] A spokesman for the Church of Scientology says that, according to church doctrine, words may not be spoken while Katie Holmes gives birth. (Sacramento Bee 4/16)
Tom will, however, be allowed to jump up and down on her bed.
[] A campaign is underway to find a more "contemporary" image to replace the familiar N.B.A. logo. (Los Angeles Times 4/16)
Why not keep the old one and just add a few ugly tattoos?
[] Wal-Mart will stop selling firearms in 1000 of its stores nationwide. (Associated Press 4/15)
A company executive cited reduced demand, an effort to attract more upscale customers and Dick Cheney.
[] A federal court struck down a Los Angeles city ordinance allowing police to arrest homeless people sleeping in public. (Los Angeles Daily News 4/15)
They may continue, however, shipping them to Calcutta.
[] A tornado ripped into the campus of the University of Iowa, with 150 m.p.h. winds
tearing off the roof of the Alpha Chi Omega sorority. (New York Times 4/15)
Alpha Chi Omega is Greek for "Yikes! The tables down at Morrie's just landed on Morrie!"
[] The State Department is taking applications for $25 million in grants to help topple the government of Iran. Said a spokesman, "Iran is governed by an unelected clerical elite not accountable to the people." (New York Times 4/15)
In other words... like us.
[] The head of the Utah Boy Scouts warns that members are not allowed to participate in immigration ralleys. (Salt Lake City Tribune 4/16)
The problem came to light when an Eagle Scout candidate was caught trying to start a fire by rubbing two green cards together.
[] Cardinal Roger Mahoney has a "special blend" of incense he prefers to use during rituals. (Los Angeles Times 4/16)
It's the traditional Vatican blend with a pinch of ground up priest pedophile subpoenas.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
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