[] Anti-American demonstrators in Venuzuela pelted U. S. Ambassador William Brownfield's limousine with eggs, tomatoes and other food. (USA Today 4/11)
A spokesman for the State Department denied the agency had any idea that Brownfield had been in Vaudeville.
[] The world's largest artificial lake is Lake Volta in Ghana. (USA Today 4/11)
Formerly known as Lake Aspertame.
[] Ontario, Canada police called the slaying of eight members of the "Bandidos" motorcycle gang "internal cleansing." (USA Today 4/11)
Sort of a Harley colonoscopy.
[] According to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, the number of employees at the major air carriers has dropped 65,000 since 2002. (USA Today 4/11)
Telltale signs that your airline is cutting back:
1) You have to weigh your own luggage.
2) You're checked in by a Hari Krishna.
3) Plane is towed from boarding ramp by Triple A.
4) Captain sets auto-pilot and serves drinks.
5) Routine maintanence is performed by Jiffy-Lube.
[] The Kansas Board of Education is considering a proposal to limit sex education in schools to abstinence. (USA Today 4/10)
To fit in with their "flat earth" geography curriculum.
[] Seymour Hersh writes a New Yorker article claiming the Bush administration is gearing up to invade Iran. (CBS News 4/10)
When asked for his reaction to Hersh's article, Bush said "I didn't even like him in 'Taxi'."
[] Part I of ABC's "The "Ten Commandments" aired on Tuesday. (USA Today 4/10)
Keen-eyed viewers spotted several departures from the 1956 Charlton Heston version:
1) No more stone tablets. God delivers the Commandments on Moses's I-pod.
2) Chariot race is sponsored by Nascar.
3) Instead of the Red Sea, Moses parts Les Moonves and Howard Stern.
4) Bullrushes Moses is born in has become a Red Bull brewery.
5) At the end, Moses screams, "Let my people go to Starbucks!"
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
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