Facing stepped-up service on the ground in Iraq, the Air Force is adding hand-to-hand combat classes for recruits in basic training. (Los Angeles Times 4/10)
And amending their official fight song to "Off we go into the wild black-and-blue youder... "
"Passa Passa," a new, Jamaican-born, strobe-lit, sexually-explicit dance, features "gyrations by barely-clad girls in an uncontrolled frenzy of carnal excess." (Los Angeles Times 4/10)
The Funky Chicken meets Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction."
Discount carrier Jet Blue will try to recover from a first quarter loss of $33 million by flying shorter routes and increasing fares. (Associated Press 4/10)
Some common tipoffs that your airline is trying to cut costs:
1) Luggage weighed on a bathroom scale
2) Boarding pass is printed on a recycled Grateful Dead ticket
3) Flight attendants wearing uniforms from war surplus store
4) Pilot's description of landmarks interrupted by commercials
5) In-flight movie replaced by street mime working for tips
An 81-year old woman was cited in Studio City, Ca. for failure to reach the opposite curb before the light changed to "Don't Walk." (Los Angeles Daily News 4/10)
Mayvis Coyle claims the Boy Scout helping her cross slowed her down.
According to the Yoga Journal, 17 million Americans practice yoga, spending $3 million last year on classes and accessories. (USA Today 4/10)
Fans of the ancient Indian practice claim it brings them peace, beauty, a sense of wholeness and an uncontrollable desire to shop at 7-Eleven.
The Writers Guild of America has chosen Casablanca the best screenplay of all time. (USA Today 4/10)
"Basic Instinct 2" finished 3687th.
One third of West Point's graduating class in 2000 have left active duty. (USA Today 4/10)
For posts as Iraq War analysts on Fox News.
Hugh Hefner turned 80 this week. (CBS News 4/9)
Or, perhaps more appropriately, 960 centerfolds.
A new $40 million, 3-year deal to play agent Jack Bauer on "24" makes Keifer Southerland TV's highest paid actor in a drama. (Cable News Network 4/10)
In a drama, mind you----not a talk show. Oprah Winfrey spends more than that having her drapes cleaned.
Every time a California soldier dies in Iraq, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger lowers the flag over the statehouse. (Los Angeles Times 4/9)
On the national level, Bush's approval rating drops a point.
Goodyear has launched a national contest to name its latest blimp. (Cable News Network 4/17)
They thought they had a suitable name but then Kerstie Alley signed with that diet company.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
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