The Disney Company posted a quarterly profit of $3.17 billion from its theme parks and resorts, up 12%. Company analysts credit increased ticket sales, an influx of foreign tourists, and the decision to replace four of the Seven Dwarfs with non-union midgets from Wisconsin.
Newport Beach California police are looking for a pair of bicycle thieves who disguise themselves as Ashton Kutcher and Colonel Sanders. In the surveillance photos, it looks like the real Ashton paired with Demi Moore in a white suit. He probably wanted to be the Colonel, but couldn't grow a goatee.
According to a study commissioned by the CDC, the two national restaurant chains serving the most calories are Denny's and The Cheesecake Factory. The Factory may be a slightly better bet for you calorie-counters, though. Last week, someone spotted Denny eating lunch there.
Tiger Woods is reportedly sweating bullets over rumors that Steve Williams, his longtime caddy he recently gave the heave-ho, is scribbling a tell-all book about him. And that can't be easy. Ever see those itty-bitty pencils they're forced to keep score with?
According to a survey conducted each year since 1989 by the A.M.A., the best hospital in the United States is Baltimore's Johns Hopkins. In fact, their Proctology Department is so well-known, one of their films appeared on "Let's Explore Caves!" Week on the Discovery Channel.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com