Riots continue to broil across the UK, with marauding street thugs eluding pursuing Bobbies as they shatter shop windows, topple parked cars and torch restaurants. Granted, that's probably a health benefit, but it shouldn't be done this way.
While parents struggle to insure their kids eat healthy meals, an alarming study out of the University of Texas shows that up to 98% of school lunches made at home are too warm to eat safely by lunchtime. Even worse, peanut butter sandwiches packed in the popular "Star Trek" Captain Kirk lunch box contained traces of radio-active isotopes.
Texas Governor Rick Perry hosted a prayer-a-thon last weekend and joined the faithful to pray for an end to world hunger, for a permanent and lasting peace, and that his Republican colleague, New Jersey's Governor Chris Christie, lose at least 50 pounds in time for the next election.
Dethroned by the Muscular Dystrophy Association as its national chairman, former host Jerry Lewis told friends he may demonstrate on the steps outside of this year's telethon and sing "You'll Never Walk Alone" so powerfully, he's hoping it will resurrect Ed McMahon.
Michelle Bachmann's husband, Marcus, runs a clinic that claims to be able to return gay people to a straight lifestyle through a careful program of therapy and counseling. And he guarantees the patient will not lose any of his enthusiasm for Bette Midler albums or shopping at IKEA.