Unemployment is so rampant, no one has any money to gamble anymore. So Las Vegas casinos are now allowed by law to take bets on non-sporting events like who'll become the next Miss America, which movie will win Best Picture and what brand of cold cuts Lady Gaga will wear at her next concert appearance.
The U.S. has bid a fond farewell to the Atlantis space shuttle, after years of faithful service despite stuck toilets, missing tiles and returns to Houston piggy-backed on a 747. No, wait a minute -- sorry -- that's Oprah.
A mother in Austin, Texas gave birth to a boy who weighed over 16 pounds. Luckily, the hospital is located next to a Home Depot because the obstetrician had to send out for barbecue tongs.
Some Catholics were outraged over reports that the Vatican was negotiating to purchase Orange County's Crystal Cathedral. But here's the pope's reasoning -- he figures priests will think twice before molesting children in front of all those window washers.
The governor of Ohio has signed a bill that legalizes carrying a concealed weapon into a bar. It's about time. Finally, a better way to settle a bar tab than liar's dice.