The 3,000-passenger Carnival Splendor was towed to Ensanada, Mexico after an engine room fire disabled the kitchen. The survivors subsisted on what was left of the Midnight Buffet cut into 3,000 pieces and by licking the water slide.
General Motors has retired their beloved Mr. Goodwrench who’s been sent to Miami’s “Easy Living” 'Toon Retirement Village where he’ll join long-term residents the Man From Glad, Mr. Clean, and the Tidy Bowl Man.
Under the TSA’s new guidelines, palm-backward pat-down searches are now allowed on clothed breasts and genitalia. That’s all male travelers need to hear from a smart-mouth female screener -- a backhanded compliment.
A Starbucks store in Seattle is experimenting with offering beer and wine. Their accountants discovered that if they use the same profit margin they apply to their coffee, a long-neck Bud would go for $29.95.
Stripped of his PGA card, golfer John Daly told reporters that he plans to join the European Tour. He should fit right in over there. In Scotland, purses are paid in Guinness Stout.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com