MONDAY, August 30, 2010
Paris Hilton had to post bail over the weekend after she was arrested and booked in Las Vegas for cocaine possession. To her credit, she almost escaped detection until a couple of beat cops spotted her trying to inhale a donut through a rolled-up $50 bill. The once proud “CBS Evening News,” founded by Walter Cronkite and now hosted by Katie Couric, posted its all-time lowest rating last week. So bad, when it was beamed down to those trapped miners, they turned it off.Betty White has been signed to write her memoirs to be published in 2011. Industry insiders say she’ll blow the lid off the squeaky-clean image of the “Golden Girls” with proof that Rue McClanahan and Estelle Getty were dealing drugs to the cast of “Eight is Enough.”
According to court insiders, Elin Nordegen may have been awarded as much as $500,000,000 in her divorce from Tiger Woods. If that weren’t bad enough, the judge tacked on another five million when Tiger failed to sign his score card.
The NFL is considering a proposal to expand the football season to eighteen games. Vehemently opposed to the plan, the head of the players’ union countered with a suggestion they use instant replay, air game seventeen twice, and hope nobody notices.
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