THURSDAY, June 3, 2010

Total shock greeted the news that former vice-president Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, will separate after 40 years of marriage.  Friends confide that he just got tired of asking her to reduce her carbon footprint and she finally gave up trying to get him to reduce.

The Los Angeles City Council passed a resolution calling for the city to boycott Arizona.  They also ordered Universal Studios to destroy all prints of “Raising Arizona” and “Flight of the Phoenix.”  Not to be outdone, the Honolulu City Council will vote on whether to blow up the USS Arizona.

In a contract potentially worth millions in stadium ad exposure, the National Football League has named Budweiser Light its official beer.  Players say they appreciate its full-bodied flavor, its lower calorie count and its rich malt color which closely resembles a normal urine sample. 

Chris Haney, the Canadian journalist who invented the “Trivial Pursuit” game died in Toronto at age 59.  Attendance at the memorial service was limited to friends, family and anyone who could name the the actor who said “I don’t got to show you no stinking badges” in “The Treasure of Sierra Madre.” 

Vowing to cut costs by relying more heavily on software, computer giant Hewlett-Packard announced the layoff of 9,000 employees, about 3% of its 300,000-strong workforce.  Minutes after the e-mail pink slips were sent out, there was a mass suicide attempt in the Ganges.
_______________________________

Excerpted From THE LAUGH MAKERS  

In his later years, Danny Thomas, a frequent guest on our show, had grown paranoid about the rise in crime and general lawlessness that he believed was crippling the country. Concerned for his own safety, he wore a pistol in a holster strapped to his ankle. 

We were taping a special in Burbank called NBC Investigates Bob Hope, a sendup on the Iran-Contra hearings on which Danny played a senator. One day, he stormed into Hope’s dressing room.  “Some son-of-a-bitch just tried to run me off the road!” he said.  Hope sympathized, in an attempt to calm him down. “I hope you didn’t stop, for God’s sake.” (There had recently been a rash of drive-by shootings.) 

Danny said he not only stopped, but confronted the offending driver on foot.  Hope said, “Jesus, Danny, you could have been killed.”  Danny said, “No, he could have been. I stuck this in the bastard’s face.” He reached down and drew the pistol as Hope dove across the couch, leaning away from the waving Derringer.

Hey, I wasn’t taking any chances, either, and slipped behind the door of the adjoining bathroom.  I could see Hope’s face, and it was as white as milk-of-magnesia — and he was wearing makeup.

Hope wasn’t happy with Danny. Not happy at all.  “Put that damn thing away,” he said sternly. His color slowly returning, he asked, “It’s not loaded, is it?”  Danny said, “Why would I pack an empty gun?” Danny couldn’t believe that Hope didn’t own a sidearm.

Hope was partially deaf thanks to a prop pistol and wasn’t keen on facing a real one. He made Danny unload the pistol and promise never to bring it on the set. There was a noticeable coolness between the two for the remainder of the shoot.  If Hope had to work near loaded guns, they’d better belong to Secret Service agents.

Tomorrow:  Hope's music arranger Bob Alberti is profiled  

Order THE LAUGH MAKERS on line:

http://www.amazon.com/LAUGH-MAKERS-Behind-Scenes-Incredible/product-reviews/1593933231/ref=cm_cr_pr_link_2?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&pageNumber=2
Also available in an unabridged audio version read by the author: 

http://www.audible.com/adbl/site/products/ProductDetail.jsp?BV_SessionID=@@@@0545479184.1272211432@@@@&BV_EngineID=cccjadekfdmleefcefecekjdffidfmf.0&productID=BK_BEAR_000001
 
UK orders:

http://www.audible.co.uk/aduk/site/product.jsp?p=BK_BEAR_000001UK&BV_SessionID=@@@@1904657385.1272326590@@@@&BV_EngineID=cccgadekffeehdjcefecekjdfikdffg.0