THURSDAY, JANUARY 3, 2013

SHOW & TELL -- In response to the Sandy Hook school shooting, the LA police Department will send an officer to visit every school in LA County at least once a day.  Some parents have expressed fears that it may be dangerous to introduce a group used to seeing gun play and violence on a daily basis.  But the cops insist they know the dangers and will wear extra body armor.
 

HOUSE CALLS -- Sometimes it's a long slow road to the bottom.  A talent agency is offering up the services of Lindsay Lohan for birthday parties, Bar Mitzvas, weddings, and retirement dinners.  For a minimal additional fee, she'll sneak into your wife's or girlfriend's bedroom and steal some jewelry.

 

NO STINKING BADGES -- A United Nations study of major countries shows that Latin Americans are the happiest people on earth.  And it makes sense.  Their leaders strut around in flashy military uniforms but, leading a cash-strapped banana republic, lack the billions necessary to invade other countries and have affairs with their biographers.

 

SOUTH SPOON -- Thanks to the discovery of oil and gas deposits, North Dakota is now America's fastest-growing state.  In fact, oil has become so plentiful there, CBS is hoping to catch lightning in a bottle again with a docudrama featuring a sex-crazed family led by a philandering patriarch named RJ.  They'll call it "BISMARK."
 

MY MOMMA DONE TOLD ME -- This year marks the 150th anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation, the historic document in which President Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves.   He also conferred on African Americans an exclusive right to the blues which lasted until 1955 when Elvis Presley stole them.
 

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved
 

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