FRI, SAT, December 14, 15, 2012

TRAPPIST TAP -- Seeking to raise funds to save their 160-year old monastery, Trappist monks in Flanders, Belgium sold 15,000 six packs of a rare ale called Westvleteren XII, believed to be among the finest ever brewed.  A popular import in Elizabethan England, Robin Hood reportedly announced the commencement of Happy Hour by yelling "It's Westvleteren time!"
 

McEDEN -- Responding to popular demand, McDonalds is bringing back the McRib sandwich, pulling out all the stops on a full-scale TV promotion.  Details are secret, but we have learned that the commercials will involve two new characters -- "McAdam" and "McEve."
 

BARTER SYSTEM -- Though spending a goodly portion of her time in the clink and rehab, Lindsay Lohan still rents a four-bedroom Beverly Hills condominium upon which she currently owes a few bucks.  It's not that the landlord hasn't been paid, exactly.  He's just tired of having to have jewelry appraised that still has the price tags attached.

 

NOW CUT THAT OUT! -- To deter pickpockets, shoplifters and purse-snatchers, police in the UK city of South Yorkshire are posting cardboard cutouts of bobbies at strategic locations.  Works to attract more foreign visitors, too.  In London, tourists can have their photo taken with a cardboard cutout of Prince Harry playing billiards with cardboard cutouts of nude models.
 

DESIGNER SIMEON -- A tame chimpanzee somehow got lose from his owner in a Toronto IKEA and ran around terrorizing shoppers until Mounties arrived and took him into custody.  But not before he'd assembled a couch, a coffee table and three cinder block book cases.  
 

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved
 

JACK LEMMON

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