THURSDAY, November 22, 2012

TOYS AIN'T US -- The U.S. Public Research Group has issued its annual holiday warning of dangerous toys that includes Wal-Mart's plastic play food that constitutes a choking hazard and Target's "Dora the Explorer" guitar that can cause deafness with prolonged use.  Also a danger is Tyco's "Let's Drive Like Lindsay!" suction cup plastic steering wheel and the "L'il Mitt Job Generator" from Mattel that mints small plastic coins toddlers can swallow.      
 

CAKE SHAKEDOWN -- The TSA has alerted travelers carrying baked goods over the Holidays that they'll face extra scrutiny.  Good luck.  They're great finding hidden bombs and concealed weapons, but wait until they try defusing Aunt Hilda's annual fruitcake.
 

STREET CRED -- The guy who for 28 years provided the voice of  Sesame Street character Elmo resigned after being accused of having sex with a minor. May not mean much to you, but Jerry Sandusky thinks he'll finally be getting a cellmate he can get some sleep next to.
 

PERFECT RESUME -- Mark Stuben, the District Attorney of New York City, confirmed   rumors that he was employed as a porn actor in the 1970s.  Hey, what better training for a lawyer?  If you can do it on the screen, you sure won't have any trouble doing it to clients.
 

BIRDS OF A FEATHER -- The Supreme Court of New York refused to grant strip clubs the same tax exemptions that true art like ballet and interpretive dance enjoy.  And the court is ever on the alert for cheaters.  For instance, "Swan Lake" doesn't qualify if the guys in the front row are allowed to tuck $20 bills into the swans' tutus.

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved