SUN, MON, October 28, 29, 2012

FUGGETABOUTIT -- According to a panel of leading nutritionists, the average driver could save $396 per year on fuel costs by shedding 100 pounds.  How did they determine this?  Well, they tested Mafia drivers with and without a female body in the trunk.
 
 

VIVA LA VIN -- Harvard Med researchers found that the chemical "restueratrol" found in red wine may extend life. They stumbled on this after several extraordinarily healthy mice were discovered living on $2 Buck Chuck Merlot at Trader Joe's.
 

ULTIMATE D -- LG has introduced its 84-inch Ultra HD TV that guarantees four times the resolution of ordinary HD.  At $20,000 a pop, it may be a tough sell, though.  Wouldn't it be cheaper to hire the actors to perform the show in your living room?
 

BABALOO -- To dispel persistent rumors that he is on death's door, Fidel Castro went on Cuban TV dressed in a baseball uniform.  In a related story, Dick Cheney appeared on Animal Planet dressed in hunting togs and carrying a new Winchester 30-30. 
 

QUICK FIX -- According to a study conducted by Pew Research, 68% of Americans consider the microwave oven a necessity.  Turns out these are the same people who believe that "Cut Along Dotted Line and Fold Back" is a recipe.

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved