Dr. Digit's Daily News & Old Hollywood Memory Blog: FRI, SAT, October 5, 6, 2012

SQUEEZE PLAY -- American Airlines grounded forty-seven 757s after seats came loose from "improperly installed tracks." Likely story. Too many passengers shoehorned too close together. When you return your tray to the secure and upright position, is the woman in front of you supposed to get a free mammogram?

DRINKS FOR THE HOUSE -- The owner of a beach bar on the Italian coast protested new governmental rules for seafront businesses by scaling the dome of the Vatican's St. Peter's Basilica while the pope celebrated mass below. Visitors to his bar will no doubt order lots of Margaritas -- he's now a pillar of salt.

GIVE THE LADY A HAND -- A new ladies-only bar in Tokyo called "Love Joule" is dedicated to "providing women a comfortable atmosphere in which to discuss female masturbation." Like most of Japan's trendy, upscale watering holes, there are plenty of mirrors -- only here they're UNDER the bar.

REGURGITATION IS FUNNY -- Justin Bieber recently startled his handlers (not to mention the occupiers of front row seats) by vomiting while on stage. Nothing to worry about since it was Justin. Now if it had been Miley Cyrus with morning sickness...

HEAD START -- Turns out that cruelty as an integral part of football is not limited to the NFL. Recently a coach in the Pop Warner League was discovered offering players rewards for inflicting extra punishment on opponents. Money wasn't the inducement -- they received extra Chuckie Cheese's game room tokens.