THURSDAY, September 27, 2012
ROBO-HEAP -- California Governor Jerry Brown has signed a bill that will allow the driverless car to travel on the state's roads. Drivers will not, however, be allowed to sit in the backseat while computers do all the work. The driver must sit behind the wheel in case of an emergency -- well, except for the Lindsay Lohan model -- with that one, you're not allowed IN the car.
RUNS LIKE A DEERE -- In Hershey, Pennsylvania, Willie Nelson, no stranger to reaping, sowing and harvesting himself, hosted the Farm Aid Concert for a crowd of enthusiastic fans. Let's just say Willie was lucky. Thanks to a labor dispute, only substitute undercover DEA agents were on duty that night.
DIGITAL MESSAGING -- Toyota has deviated somewhat from their auto-giant image to develop a robot that can help the elderly and disabled pick up hard-to-reach items, open curtains, and perform household chores using a folding arm and a pair of bendable fingers. A one-fingered model is being designed for elderly New York cabbies.
NIP AND TUCK -- The beauty contest organizers in Beijing responsible for the Miss World Contest have issued a new rule requiring contestants' nipples to be at least 7.8 inches apart. And although it's not stated specifically, most judges prefer that both of them be facing generally in the same direction.
THE DOWNTRODDEN -- As Obama picked up double-digit poll leads in Ohio, Florida and Pennsylvania, Mitt Romney's wife Ann told reporters that electing Mitt would "strike a blow against prejudice." Against, no doubt, multi-millionaires with off shore bank accounts, home car elevators, and wives who breed horses for the Olympics.
Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills All Rights Reserved
ROBO-HEAP -- California Governor Jerry Brown has signed a bill that will allow the driverless car to travel on the state's roads. Drivers will not, however, be allowed to sit in the backseat while computers do all the work. The driver must sit behind the wheel in case of an emergency -- well, except for the Lindsay Lohan model -- with that one, you're not allowed IN the car. 
