TUESDAY, September 27, 2011

Einstein's theory that nothing is faster than the speed of light may be wrong.  Atomic scientists have discovered a neutrino that is faster.  To add insult to injury, Guinness has certified that there's something even faster than the neutrino -- Joy Behar's tongue.

Hackers invaded Scarlett Johansson's personal web site and have spread nude photos of her  across the Internet.  To add to her embarrassment, she took the photos herself with her cell phone.  This has to be the worst thing to happen to a Scarlett since "Gone With the Wind."

Some upscale restaurants are now doing what was once unthinkable -- allowing patrons to make reservations on the Internet.  One big drawback, though.  Customers who do that usually find that their waiter is from Delhi and knows nothing but computer menus.

To illustrate their similarity, P.E.T.A. is now integrating photos of animals being mistreated with scenes from well-known porno movies.  For instance, scenes from "Deep Throat" are combined with shots showing where chefs get goose liver pate.