WEDNESDAY, August 3, 2011

While sightseeing in Monaco, three blonds (one driving) crashed their $363,000 Bentley Azure into the rear of a $91,000 Mercedes-Benz S Class which then careened into a $186,000 Ferrari F430 which then clipped a 4-door
$228,000 Aston Martin Rapide which came to rest on the hood of a stray $77,000 Porche 911.  With that much damage, it would be pointless to call Triple A, right?  So the blonds did the next logical thing -- they called
Quadruple A.

The New England Patriots are so thrilled to have acquired the experienced (and some fear a bit over-the-hill) Chad Ochocinco from the Cincinnati Bengals, they have already set aside an entire day in his honor.  They're calling it
"Ochocinco de Mayo."

Lady Gaga is reported to be very excited that her book of photographs taken on tour is scheduled for worldwide publication in November.  According to her publisher, Grand Central Publishing, the book will offer fans plenty of
beefcake -- and that's just her wardrobe.

Herbarists from the Chinese Academy of Sciences in Shenyang discovered the largest mushroom ever recorded -- a giant half-ton fungus four city blocks long.  Investigation revealed that it was grown by Tim Burton for the teacup scene in "Alice in Wonderland" and left behind by the Disney film crew.   

Ford recalled 1.2 million F-150 pick-up trucks after reports that their fuel tanks were falling off.  Also, several instances have been reported where the gun rack in the cab worked loose and accidentally discharged the deer rifle which exploded the six-pack sitting beside the driver.