MONDAY, July 25, 2011

Looks like the NFL players will reach an agreement with team owners any minute now. Turns out the big hangup isn't players' salaries, working conditions or pension benefits --  the coaches are pushing for a provision that would allow them to Photo Shop the Instant Replay.

Donald trump's wife, Ivanka, gave birth to a baby girl over the weekend.  Donald insists that he wasn't expecting a boy but can't seem to explain the Three Wise Men who showed up at New York University Hospital carrying gold, frankincense and myrrh.

An Atlanta Braves game was interrupted last week when a man dressed in a white satin, hand-embroidered wedding dress and high heels suddenly appeared on the field.  Before cops could hustle him off, a near-sighted umpire married him to Atlanta's third base coach.

The Tennessee department of Education reports that enrolment at Frayser High School in Memphis currently includes ninety pregnant students.   Hey, here's a great project for this year's Inter-Scholastic Science Fair:  "How Condoms Work."

According to a study commissioned by Men's Health Magazine, men who live in Lexington, Kentucky are the least likely to exercise.  A whopping 83% of the men surveyed there listed "The Colonel" as their personal fitness coach.