There's evidence that al Quaida may begin to equip suicide bombers with surgically implanted explosives. The bad news is airport screeners will now perform a full body scan, chest x-ray and colonoscopy. The good news is you're getting a state-of-the-art physical free.
California's ban on the use of cancer-causing tanning beds by minors may be the strictest in the nation. It prohibits the use of any device that emits ultraviolet, gamma, or x-rays as well as the glow that surrounds young starlets commanding more than $4 million per picture.
Meteorologists recently discovered that planes landing and taking off can alter the weather by puncturing rain clouds -- a phenomenon that Air traffic controllers discovered years ago. You ever meet a traffic controller who ever paid to have his car washed?
Religion police in the Gaza Strip will soon enforce a ban on male hairdressers on the grounds that men handling womens' hair violates Islamic tradition. Good luck to the Muslim women. Only a man has the strength to deliver a decent $85 shampoo, tint and set under those beekeeper's helmets they wear.
Visitors to the Windy City can now take a bus tour of famous gangster sites like Al Capone's vault, the garage where the St. Valentine's Day Massacre took place and several notorious speakeasies. The tours are doing well, but the most popular tourist attraction in Chicago is still the spot where Frank Sinatra saw a man dance with his wife.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com