The CIA didn’t want to have to schlep bin Laden’s body all the way back to the states, so they gave him a one-way ticket to Davy Jones’ Locker. If they thought he was hard to find, wait until they try to get the EPA to issue them a permit to pollute the Mediterranean.
Talk about hiding in plain sight. Turns out Osama owned a rent-controlled flat in Greenwich Village, was on the short list to replace Regis, and recently completed a stint as a floor manager for Charlie Sheen.
Everyone was caught by surprise by the news of bin Laden’s sudden demise at the hands of Navy Seals. It took Letterman over an hour to place an ad in the new York Times announcing open auditions to replace him.
Two LAPD traffic control officers have been put on administrative leave for appearing, in uniform, in a porn film. Actually, their faces weren’t identifiable, but a city Health Department doctor recognized them from their pre-employment physicals.
According to the latest actuarial statistics, there are now 72,000 centenarians alive in the U.S., a number expected to increase seven-fold by 2030. The down side is there will be only two programs on TV by then -- reruns of “Murder She Wrote” and “Lawrence Welk.”
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com