WEDNESDAY, February 9, 2011

According to reliable sources, Dick Cheney and Hosni Mubarak are good friends.  Hard to believe.  After all, one’s a heartless dictator who raped his country’s treasury and became rich at the peoples’ expense -- and the other one is Hosni Mubarak.

Japanese scientists have discovered that Labrador retrievers possess a rare ability to detect cancers of the colon entirely by smell.  And you thought it was uncomfortable with a proctologist rooting around in there.

To raise funds for their cause, the Muslim Brotherhood is selling a specially-designed Barbie honoring Muslims.  Actually, they saved a ton of money by just ordering Mattel’s “Beekeeper Barbie.”

Sarah Palin claims that Barack Obama has fallen short in his response to the ongoing riots in Cairo -- and she’s been brushing up on her Egyptology.  Last weekend, she watched “Abbott & Costello Meet King Tut” three times.

Terry Bradshaw drew less than critical acclaim for his post-Super Bowl interview.  Later, he apologized and told reporters he was rehearsing for an upcoming movie with Morgan Freeman called “The Bradshaw Redemption.”