BULLETIN! BULLETIN! BULLETIN! BULLETIN! BULLETIN! BULLETIN!
COPIAPO, CHILE -- With the whole world watching, Chilean miner Roberto Rios Seguel emerged as the first to be rescued through an escape tube as long as two Statues of Liberty laid end-to-end. On being told that during his absence Lady Gaga had taken to wearing meat, he asked rescuers to send him back down.
Google has been road testing a smart car that can drive in traffic with nobody behind the wheel. Or, as the cops in LA refer to it, “Paris Hilton’s Prius.”
In response to a rash of UFO sightings, China has officially recognized the arrival of extraterrestrials. The clincher came when a peasant reported that one of them asked him for directions to the closest P.F. Chang’s.
Dominos Pizza has announced a plan to offer breakfast items. Hopefully they’ll differ from last year’s short-lived “Good Morning Combo” -- Fruit Loops, Sugar-Frosted Flakes, Cheerios and Capt’n Crunch on an Irish Oatmeal crust.
Rampant inflation in Egypt, for years virtually unknown, has reached record levels with rates now at 11.7% and climbing. Nobody is immune. King Tut had to move to a smaller tomb.
A Mississippi judge jailed a lawyer for refusing to say the Pledge of Allegiance. Worse, he had to write 500 times on the court blackboard “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of Dixie…”
________________________________
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com