For the first time, the Army is designing uniforms specifically for women. Now our fashion savvy GI Jane will feel equally stylish on KP or shopping in the PX, or handcuffed to an MP after going AWOL with PMS.
November will see the debut of the new ABC series “Skating With the Stars.” It’s a lot like “Dancing With the Stars.” In the opener, Tonya Harding does the cha-cha on Nancy Kerrigan’s shins with a tire iron.
The Vatican newspaper has announced that the Simpsons are secret Catholics. They say Homer claimed they were “Presbylutherans” after Father Sacristy banished Bart from the altar boy program for answering in Klingon instead of Latin.
Travel agents in London are booking passengers for a 7-night all-naked cruise. They’ll sail on the maiden voyage of Cunard’s latest luxury liner, the HMS Princess Fergie wearing see-thru life jackets.
China recently staged war games in the Pacific targeting remote islands with their long-range missiles. The Pentagon says not to worry, but a deckhand on a passing trawler swears he heard shouts of “Tora! Tora! Tora!”
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