TUESDAY, June 8, 2010

Rush Limbaugh recently took his fourth wife at a simple ceremony attended by a few friends and supporters.  After the vows were read, the bride threw the traditional bouquet in the air and out of habit, Sarah Palin shot it.

A rare British stamp, the 1904 6d Pale Dull Purple, was sold in London for a record $750,000.  It's considered extremely rare because it’s the only stamp featuring a black-sheep member of the royal family -- the Earl of Scheib -- who disobeyed Queen Victoria and opened a paint and body shop near Windsor Castle.    

Under pressure from the FDA, Kellogg’s has agreed to remove the claim printed on the box that Rice Krispies Cereal increases the natural immunity of children.  An embarrassed Kellogg’s executive admitted to reporters that Snap and Crackle recently tested positive for the H1N1 virus.

Archaeologists in the UK exhumed eighty skeletons believed to be Roman gladiators who died between the first and fourth century AD, some apparently from coliseum battles with lions, tigers and bears.  The first reality shows pitted man against beast and were popular until Will Shakespeare introduced more expensive scripted entertainment. 

A team of scientists from the University of London found that cockroaches communicate with one another through a "foraging pheromone" and actually recommend the best places to eat.  Even more remarkable, they also recommend the best places to stay -- usually at a five-star Roach Motel under a stove.
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Excerpted From THE LAUGH MAKERS  

We couldn’t visit the land of the eucalyptus groves without paying homage to their most cuddly inhabitants, the koalas. Sticking furry-ears and rubber-noses on Hope and Barbara after perching them on a tree limb seemed like a good way to start.

BARBARA: What’s the matter, honey? You look like you’ve just been hit in the face by the Flying Doctor.

HOPE: I’m so depressed. I’d call my therapist, but his tree is unlisted.

BARBARA: (sympathetically): Aw, tell me about it. That’s why I have big furry ears — to listen to my husband’s problems in koala stereo.

HOPE: I found out something shocking today. We’re not bears at all. We’re arboreal marsupials.

BARBARA: Don’t worry about it. What’s in a name, anyway?

HOPE: Easy for you to say, but would Juliet have looked at Romeo twice if he had been an arboreal marsupial instead of a Capulet? It sounds like a disease. If word of this leaks out, we’ll be the laughing stock of the sanctuary.

BARBARA: You need to see a psychiatrist. Someone who’ll get you to relax and slow down.

HOPE: Slow down? Our lives are already so slow, snails use us as examples.

BARBARA: I know, and the kids are getting suspicious. We’ve had our bedroom door locked for six months.

They eventually decide that attending the Bob Hope television show taping would be just what the doctor ordered to cure his case of koala-funk. 

HOPE: What amazes me is how Hope can think of so many funny things to say while traveling all over the world entertaining so many people.

BARBARA: That’s obvious. He must have a very remarkable mind.  In fact, he must be a genius.

HOPE: Really?

BARBARA: Yes. (glares at him) Now can I have my passport back?

Tomorrow:  A visit to the Peking Opera School

Order THE LAUGH MAKERS on line:

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Also available in an unabridged audio version read by the author: 

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