THURSDAY, June 10, 2010

A 20-year-old Romanian man crawled under a fence at an airport in Vienna and hid in the wheel well of a jet that flew to London.  Later, he told reporters that even though he had to endure temperatures that reached 60 degrees below zero, overall the flight was more comfortable and the service was better than Delta.

Though admitting that their results were counter intuitive, researchers at Hartford Hospital and the University of Iowa found that marijuana use has little effect on driving ability.   Most accidents involving cannabis are caused when chocolate chip cookie crumbs whipped up by incoming air flow obscure the driver's vision.

Herpetologists from England, Australia, France, Italy and Nigeria conducted a study that found seventeen species of snakes have declined in population worldwide since 1990.  The study was undertaken after Bar Associations in Canada, the U.S. and Australia noticed their membership had declined over the same period.

General Motors has recalled 1.5 million cars, trucks and SUVs to disable defective wiper fluid heaters that can catch fire. A company spokesman was quick to assure owners that the electrical problem does not effect drivers-side shiatsu massage units, in-dash juicers or glove box microwaves.    

Lindsay Lohan’s bail was increased to $200,000 after her ankle bracelet indicated that she had violated her parole and imbibed alcohol last weekend.  The judge seemed completely unimpressed by Lindsay’s explanation that she was at the MTV Movie Awards and Amy Winehouse breathed on her.
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Excerpted From THE LAUGH MAKERS  

One Mime At A Time

We found that having brought along Shields and Yarnell and Big Bird, whose acts were visual requiring no translation made producing a television special in a non-English speaking country much easier. A segment with Bob Shields and Lureen Yarnell mimicking mannequins in a Shanghai department store had no words, and needed none — the smiles of delight on the faces of the unsuspecting shoppers said it all. And Sesame Street’s Big Bird so totally captivated the kids, there’s a whole generation over there now that’s sworn off Peking duck.

Inside the Big Bird costume resides a talented puppeteer named Carroll Spinney who, thanks to a special contractual arrangement with Jim Henson Productions, operates the only Muppet character allowed to work solo. Besides the constant maintenance he requires (he loses about 350 turkey feathers per outing), the bird is no piece of cake to operate.  While providing the voice, Spinney must keep his left arm extended over his head to work the beak and simulate neck movement. All the while, he’s watching a three-inch TV monitor inside the bird’s chest cavity just to be able to navigate. A small fan supplies some air circulation, but Carroll usually emerged looking like he’d been in a sauna. He relies on an assistant named Kermit Love (no relation to the frog) to keep the Bird looking spiffy and his operator from falling off a stage or walking into traffic.  Of all our guests over the years, Big Bird was probably the most underpaid, considering what goes into every performance.

Tomorrow:  Hope & Burns Revisit Vaudeville 

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