Labor Day Issue

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[] The Los Angeles Archdiocese faces 560 unresolved court claims against child-molesting priests. (Los Angeles Times 9/2)

Each blessed by Roger "Stonewall" Mahoney following a High Mass on Shyster Lawyer Sunday at Our Lady of the Precious Blood of Delayed Justice Cathedral.

[] "We're a nation in thrall to religious fanatics anyway; does it really matter which religion we're in thrall to? Koran, Bible----what's the diff? They're both full of moral pieties and codes of conduct nobody follows anyway. Seriously, is the Koran that different from the New Testament? Sex is bad, women are inferior, and when in doubt, blame the Jews." (Bill Maher in the Los Angeles Times, 9/1)

[] Salt Lake City mayor Rocky Anderson is shunned by American Legion Convention after he calls Bush "a complete disaster." (Associated Press 8/30)

Being snubbed by that gang of aged hawks reliving the sands of Iwo Jima is like not getting an invitation to watch Ann Coulter and Anna Nicole Smith mud wrestle.

[] Forbes Magazine replaces Condoleezza Rice with Germany's new prime minister as the world's most powerful woman, (USA Today 9/1)

Dropping Condi to number two, tied with Kelly Ripa.

[] A Princeton University study shows that women can evaluate a man's character within 1/10 of a second. (CBS News 8/30)

In a singles bar at 1:54 am, 1/500,000 of a second.

[] The "America Supports You" Freedom Walk seeks candy bars, snacks, CD's, video games, batteries and phone cards to be sent to our troops in Iraq. (Associated Press 9/2)

An unopened exit strategy would also be welcome.

[] Fidel Castro looks fit as he greets Venuzuelan President Hugo Chavez on Havana TV. (Associated Press 9/2)

Then he thanked Bush for offering him a new heart. Of course, it was Cheney's, but...

[] According to the National Center for Health Statistics, someone commits suicide in the US every 17 seconds. (USA Today 9/1)

Double that count during speeches by Rumsfeld trying to justify the war.

[] The coroner in Baghdad reports that he processed 1800 corpses in July, 90% of them executed. (USA Today 9/2)

Which is a lot of executions in one month. Not as many as Texas, but a lot.

[] CNN reporter Kyra Phillips ducked into a New Orleans ladies room carrying a live microphone during a speech by Bush. (Associated Press 9/3)

Is there a better time to multi-task?

[] CBS airbrushed a promotional photo of Katie Couric making her look 20 pounds lighter.
(Cable News Network 8/30)

Even more inexcusable, they put the 20 pounds back on Al Roker.

[] Afghanistan's opium harvest this year, up 49%, is the highest ever recorded. (New York Times 9/4)

Which accounts for Osama's smile in those videos.

[] An Iranian entrepreneur has become the first woman to pay for a ride in space. (USA Today 9/1)

Before you ask----yes, they've glued an extra layer of tiles on the fenders.

[] Donald Trump fired his longtime assistant and co-star on "The Apprentice," Carolyn Kepcher. (USA Today 9/1)

Seems sudden celebrity went to her head----much like it went to the Donald's hair.

[] Victor Willis, the original cop with the "Village People," pleaded guilty to drug possession in San Francisco. (USA Today 9/1)

After a short hitch in the navy, he's been working at the YMCA.

[] Ellen DeGeneres' 2006 Porsche Carrera was damaged in a collision with a 2002 Porsche Carrera on a Hollywood street. (Associated Press 9/3)

Barely avoiding the 2004 Ferrari being driven by Tom Cruise to Brooke Shields's house.

[] Medical experts say traumatic brain injuries are the signature earmark of the Iraq war. (Associated Press 9/3)

As well as the one that got us in this quagmire in the first place.

[] In 1903, Griffith J. Griffith who donated Griffith Park to the city of Los Angeles, shot his wife, Christine, in the head. (Los Angeles Times 9/3)

Ol' Grif was sort of a turn-of-the-century Bobby Blake----with land.

[] The US team of NBA all-stars lost to Greece, with no NBA players, in the World Championships. (Associated Press 9/2)

On a brighter note, they did get the judges' nod for "Most Obnoxious Tattoos."

[] Warren Buffet married his long-time companion, Astrid Minks. (USA Today 9/1)

He gave her the choice of Monte Carlo or St. Tropez. Not as a honeymoon distination----to keep.

[] Only Turkey has a greater percentage of its population who don't believe in evolution. (USA Today 9/2)

Even more alarming, the US nitwits reject science without the help of opium.

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